TRH RECAP 45: THE BIGGEST LOSER – COUPLES EDITION
This recap is for my number one fan…
— Zach Carlson (@zattk94) January 9, 2014
Ask and you shall receive, my friend!
Today you are getting a special treat though, not only are you getting an amazing OGOP recap, it’s also co-written by everyone’s favorite yellow man (not racist, he seriously just gets a boner whenever he sees anything yellow), Spike!
— Brigitte Lynne (@OneGirlOnePuck) December 25, 2013
SPIKE: Since the Kings are playing a team that has a primary color of gold, I decided to forgo wearing any yellow this evening while watching the game.
OGOP: Thank God! Anyway, as I write this the game is about half way through the third and the Kings hold a 3-1 lead. While I’m sure they’ll find a way to shit the bed, so far they haven’t been terrible. Jeff Carter, doing what he does best, made me throw my bra against the TV with his sexual goal scoring.
SPIKE: After removing the bra from the television, Brigitte decided she had to clean the kitchen, and I’m serious… she cleaned my sister’s kitchen (not a euphemism). The 2nd period started and while I was eating chips and guacamole (that I made) the Kings proceeded to score two goals. Justin Williams took a pass from Slava Voynov and scored a goal that would have made Brigitte take off more clothing, if she saw it.
SPIKE: Meanwhile I beat PumperNicholl to the punch! Suuuuuuck it!
OGOP: (FYI this is a screen grab from Spike’s phone if you couldn’t tell)
SPIKE: I actually the text to yellow on my phone.
— The Mayor John Hoven (@mayorNHL) October 28, 2013
SPIKE: I think I might have a problem.
SPIKE: After that, the Kings executed on what is the rarely seen “one-timer.” It was a breath of fresh air to see a one-timer actually happen! Meanwhile Brigitte was still in the kitchen.
OGOP: While I was cleaning up the gigantic mess that SOMEBODY left…
SPIKE: (…to be fair, she did cook dinner.)
OGOP: (To be fair, YOU ATE IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT)… I left my second home and returned to the living room, only to watch the fucking Bruins score.
OGOP: I should have just stayed in there, because that’s where I belong, RIGHT JESSE!??
Oh RT @KingsMenPodcast This is one of those magical moments where we put chauvinism aside and pretend to care about broads that play hockey.
— Sarah Connors (@sarah_connors) January 1, 2014
OGOP: After I finished all kitchen tasks I decided to actually watch the game I’m supposed to recap. AND DUSTIN BROWN JUST SCORED A FUCKING BEAUTIFUL GOAL FUCK YESSSSS!!!
I guess someone started another trade rumor!
SPIKE: Late in the game some guy named Florek scored his 1st career NHL goal.
SPIKE: If I really cared about a Bruin having their 1st career moments at Staples Center, I’d just remember this game.
SPIKE: Is there another NHL Player that ever had his 1st career goal and assist lead towards a Gordie Howe Hat Trick? Also, I will always fondly remember this game where we had a hooker in our section who let fans celebrate goals by letting them slap her ass. I couldn’t actually tell you much of what happened in the third period of that game.
OGOP: And that’s how we met!
Also, thank you for hijacking my post with stupid fucking stats that no one cares about!
SPIKE: That’s one of the few things I’m good for. Who remembers Lucic’s first Gordie and a hooker?
OGOP: That’s no way to talk about his baby mama, Spike!
Sweet frozen yogurt, Lucic.
OGOP: No, instead of obsessing over games played 10 years ago, Spike… what people really care about is dumb tweets from fans during the game played yesterday!
Fuck Dustin Brown and fuck the Kings shit stain of an organisation.
— Ian Zachary (@MacManus_91) January 10, 2014
FUCK THE KINGS AND THEIR SHITTY GOAL! If Boston loses tonight I'll drop the gloves with Chara.. #wtf
— Danny Goodrich (@DRayGoodrich) January 10, 2014
Tired . Kings game was dope as fuck. Now I'm ready to wake up and work and then straight from work to get tattooed.! Helllsssss yaaahhhh .
— Antony Gasparetti (@ThatguyGaspar) January 10, 2014
Oh fuck yissss, I have a feeling that tattoo shows up in a future post.
Fuck that! Bullshit calls the whole game!! Bruins should've won that!
— Trent Devòn (@TrentDStephens) January 10, 2014
I know, right? Fucking refs, go have another donut!
Fuck no empty net we r gunna die bad move ew #bruins
— ♡ Melanie (@MelanieSays_) January 10, 2014
@LAKings lmfao this game is over? do you remember game 7 bruins vs toronto? shut the fuck up, youre so childish.
— smittttty 18 (@marchandsbabe) January 10, 2014
Except the Kings are ummm…good.
IT'S NOT OVER YET! FUCK LA QUEENS! LET'S GO BRUINS! @BigBadBruins88
— Wes Watson (@weswatson420) January 10, 2014
LA Queens? Man where does this guy come up with these?
Sorry but if you're a kings fan you shouldn't be talking shit about how Sharks fans are bandwagons you actually look like a huge idiot
— Nikki (@hey_mynikka) January 10, 2014
Ah I knew a Sharks fan would chime in somewhere
Who gives a shit. Kings win anyways.
— th33fy (@KingTh33fy) January 10, 2014
thanks to @PeteBlackburn for GIF’ing the hell out of the game last night