FREEWAY FARCE: Week 17



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WEEK 17 (Stadium Series Spectacular)

In honor of the greatest outdoor game ever played, Freeway Farce is breaking from its usual format, to bring you the best moments from the Rivalry at the Revine … the Showdown in K-Town … the Tinsletown Tussle … OK this is getting out of control … 

GIF That Best Represents the Coors Light Winter Classic Stadium Series Classic Presented by McDonalds Bridgestone:

quick

 

 

Pregame Festivities:

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Behold! If you grew up going to Dodger games, then you can appreciate this park for its true beauty, despite its ridiculous location, cramped and drab concourses, awful traffic and parking, and occasional violence amongst fans.

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This is such a cool sight, not even the NHL could screw it up.

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yoga

Dammit!

This is what you end up with when a group of suits from Toronto try to develop a “Venice Beach” theme. 

While yoga lessons, beach volleyball, and rollerbladers occupied left field … YES, rollerbladers! …

… the right field spot, where Kirk Gibson hit his home run, was occupied by a band who was over the hill long before 1988.

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kiss

kiss wide

“I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I’m lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky.”

brokenguitar_sadface

He’s sad because he broke his guitar?

It’s going to take a pretty big miracle to salvage this thing at this point. It’s going to take a couple people, universally respected and adored, who can get things back on track. Let’s go down to FS West’s Mark Rogondino, to see if he has anybody for us.

WTF

Ummmmmm … OK?

Alyssa Milano and Olympic gold medalist, Kerri Walsh? That’s just confusing. Maybe Patrick O’Neal can do better.

oneal hazy bettman

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

But wait, just as it seemed to be a lost cause, this happened:

vin and bob

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Strike up the band.

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USC marching band at Dodger Stadium, updated power rankings:

1. Stadium Series

2. The Naked Gun

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3. Fleetwood Mac

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On second thought, Stevie Nicks twirling a baton should probably put this one higher on the list.

And even the teams’ awful chrome jerseys looked kinda cool for that moment.

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The best part of the whole thing was how understated it was.

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It was everything we could have dreamed of.

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And then it got better.

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Boner time.

puck drop

Are you wondering why Wayne Gretzky is laughing? Here is the actual conversation, picked up by NBC microphones:

Getzlaf: “You still have more hair than me.”

Brown: “Yeah, I think I got that for a while.”

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It’s amazing that Wayne Gretzky looks younger than Ryan Getzlaf … when he hasn’t even had any work done … *tugs collar*

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What more could you ask for? A Kings goal? 

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For the sake of Kings fans, we won’t dive too deep into any of that stuff that happened once the puck was dropped.

Mark Spector Alert:

Good news! Mark Spector came out to LA to cover the game. While he was here, he reminded us all why we hate him.

A very timely Manny Ramirez reference

Weird … I didn’t think Spector paid much attention to hits.

Thanks for the analysis, Mark.

 

He really is the worst.

Are we sure Mark Spector didn’t come up with the “Venice Beach” idea … dude?

But Mark, it’s not weird at all. The Kings have actually been struggling to score goals as of late, which has led to their losing streak.

The Worst of the Worst from @ducksfanzone:

Stadium Series edition…

I think you meant to send that as a text. Otherwise, it would be a really weird thing to tweet.

Now I really don’t know what’s happening.

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Sweet Jesus

HOW DO YOU NOT LEAD WITH KENT FRENCH!?!?

OMG Can somebody please get confirmation on this?

YES!

:P

This is where I disagree. I haven’t seen the league make any effort to grow the game in Mexico either.

Biggest Blunder:

There were a ton of complaints about the length of the lines at the concession stands at Dodger Stadium, and once fans got to the front of the line, there was an even bigger issue.

 Given how frustrating it is to watch the Kings play these days, the NHL should have foreseen their fans drinking heavily.

Best Postgame Celebration:

In the past, Freeway Farce has covered Dustin Penner’s tenuous relationship with the opposite sex. Well, this is what the postgame celebration looked like for him:

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Let’s just assume that the big guy had a good night.

 

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Stat Sheet:

Kings:  

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Trouble scoring, huh?

Ducks:

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It’s impressive … I think. It’s hard to tell when he’s facing the Kings.

Winner: Anze Kopitar. The bar has been lowered so much for the Kings that a penalty shot attempt gets you 2nd star of the game.

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Second Round, War of Words:

Kings:

Darryl Sutter via LA Kings Insider:

On whether the Kings played physically enough:
Yeah, I didn’t think that was a problem at all. It’s not like they’re running around trying to hit guys. That’s not what ‘physical’ means.

Please tell me Mark Spector asked that question.

Ducks:

Bruce Boudreau via the LA Kings Insider:

Boudreau, on why he wore a suit instead of a jacket:
I don’t know. I look bad in anything, so it doesn’t really matter.

Bruce sounds a little down on himself, but I know one coach whose self confidence isn’t lacking no matter what outfit he’s in.

Winner: The Ducks ridiculous points lead

Darryl Sutter on whether the Kings can bridge the 19-point gap with the Ducks: 
Do you really think you’re going to think you’re going to close that? It’s hockey.

 

Third Round, Video Highlight:

Kings:

A Kings highlight? What do you want from me???

Ducks:

None of the goals were pretty, but at least there were goals.

Winner: People on the east coast, trying to fall asleep while watching this game

 

WINNER OF THE WEEK: Outdoor hockey without the stupid cold weather

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The incomparable LA Kings Insider put together a great gallery of photos from the night. Check it out here.

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.