TRH RECAP 37: JINGLE BELLS, DUCHENE SMELLS, VARLY LAID AN EGG


KINGS 3, AVALANCHE 2 (SO)

If you’ve been a Kings fan for any reasonable amount of time, there’s just something about the idea of a Saturday afternoon home game that makes your buttcheeks clench. Perhaps owing to the fact that our Kings are night owls, late risers, or something in between, there just seems to be a gruesome history of utter suckitude for these weekend day games.

Furthermore, we would be facing an Avalanche goalie who had recently learned that some pretty serious chest-stomping charges against him were being dropped. Nothing like competing against someone with a brand-new lease on life!

Yet, as we know, this 2013 LA Kings club is a force to be reckoned with. Despite the seemingly dangerous combination of a young, fast team meeting us at Staples before the rest of the West has even finished their morning pee, a sense of optimism wafted through the crisp December air at LA Live.

And just like that, the game was underway.

FIRST PERIOD

Sure, if your appetizer is filet mignon and your entree is yesterday’s re-heated McRib…

lex-luthor-wrong

To be fair, I suppose they look kind of similar.

Los Angeles Kings v Chicago Blackhawks

SECOND PERIOD

EXCUSE ME, THERE’S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE LEFT SIDE CREEPER IN THIS TOWN.

THIRD PERIOD

And Ryan/O’Reilly/The crossbar’s scared when you skate away/You-u-u-u otter know!

Just look at all these synonyms for plebes, Martin.
Luckily, none of them apply to the Stanley Cup-winning Los Angeles Kings or our fans.
You see, the Avalanche became a franchise in 1995,
the same year as that delightful Glenfiddich we sampled earlier.

 

OVERTIME

SHOOTOUT

Tufficult out.

-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)

As a child, King Tufficult liked to hang out at Iceoplex to watch his dad's summer skating group that included many gloriously mulleted individuals. Some of the people attached to those mullets played for the early 90's LA Kings. It was destiny. Since then, King Tufficult has enjoyed such hobbies as: watching his lifelong favorite sports team achieve their first championship in history, being unable to pee at Staples Center if too many people are waiting for his urinal, and "contributing" to The Royal Half.If you're a glutton for punishment, you can follow King Tufficult on Twitter @KingTufficult.