TRH RECAP 35: THIS IS ALBERTAAAAAAA!!


MARTIN JONES 6, NHL 0

There are certain times in life when you simply know that you must rise to the challenge that has presented you.  You must take a weighty risk, test your mettle, and stand tall when faced with a potentially life-changing task.

Martin Jones knows this feeling well. And now that I’ve been asked to recap the Kings’ snoozer battle against the dingleberries clinging to the bottom of the West struggling Edmonton Oilers, I know that feeling more intimately than ever.  How would I respond when asked to recap a matchup that every hockey fan in the NHL had circled with a certain brown-scented marker? Would there be a letdown in my game for this intense matchup after the far less interesting contest against the Blackhawks two days earlier? The questions mounted as to whether I, King Tufficult, could come through in the clutch and deliver a game recap worthy of the Kings’ lofty opponent for this game. Well, I’ve responded the way a true champion would: by once again ripping off PumperNicholl’s game recap format.

 FIRST PERIOD

Credit to @krucz36 for the gif modification

 

 

SECOND PERIOD

drew-doughty

 

THIRD PERIOD

Imagine a world in which people bet *ON* the LA Kings in order to win money.

Presenting Dallas Eakins, professional piece of shit.

And so this sordid example of seizing the moment drew to a close with Dustin Brown’s languid empty net goal that seemed to be in slow motion (though admittedly the scotch and cough syrup might have started to kick in). The Kings had dispatched the Oilers, Martin Jones picked up another shutout, and the battle plan for my derivative unique and hilarious #TeamTRH recap was laid. The sting of the loss in Chicago receded as each embarrassment to Edmonton piled on. Park and ride, baby. Park and ride.

Eh, close enough.

Tufficult out.

-King Tufficult (@KingTufficult)

As a child, King Tufficult liked to hang out at Iceoplex to watch his dad's summer skating group that included many gloriously mulleted individuals. Some of the people attached to those mullets played for the early 90's LA Kings. It was destiny. Since then, King Tufficult has enjoyed such hobbies as: watching his lifelong favorite sports team achieve their first championship in history, being unable to pee at Staples Center if too many people are waiting for his urinal, and "contributing" to The Royal Half.If you're a glutton for punishment, you can follow King Tufficult on Twitter @KingTufficult.
  • Dean Hayes

    So last year in the 1st round of the playoffs Ex St. Louis tough guy Kelly Chase tells how his team ran Kings goalie Storr and hurt him and they went on to win the playoff series after that. He then says the Blues should do this to Quick, now Eakins says they should have run Jones. What is with these guys publicly stating players should injure Kings goalies?