FREEWAY FARCE: Week 13



FreewayFarce900

 

WEEK 13 (Dec 23-Dec 29)

With the new year approaching, the laziest topic we could possibly use for this week’s Freeway Farce would be “New Year’s resolutions” … so here we go

Los Angeles Kings (25-10-4)

GIF That Best Represents the new year for the LA Kings:

anigif_enhanced-buzz-12162-1355759792-3

STOP. LOSING. TO. INFERIOR. OPPONENTS.

LA Kings Bloggers:

Stop blogger on blogger crime.

Let’s look back at some of the finest squabbles between Kings bloggers in 2013. Who can forget the great CORSI/Corsi debate?

 

 

And then there was the time that the JTFC guys were shocked to see others referring to the, so called, #FancyStats.

 

 

Hall of Famer, Helene Elliot, even got caught up in all the blogger beef.

And then there was this nonsense.

 

 

 

 

There were clear cut attacks.

And there were some that were more debatable.

Will we ever know whether or not that was a shot fired? I want to believe it was. I want to believe so bad.

Screen Shot 2013-12-29 at 6.37.10 PM Screen Shot 2013-12-29 at 6.37.36 PM

Either way, let’s settle down this year, fellas. Let’s stick to what’s really important … UFC coverage.

A Better Nickname for Martin Jones:

There has to be something better than Joner.

NHL Ticket Sales:

I wonder how that will go over with those who originally bought the cheap seats.

If only somebody could have seen that coming.

Thanks for the heads up, dude.

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (28-8-5)

GIF That Best Represents the new year for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:

anigif_enhanced-buzz-1752-1355608858-2

NEVER. LOSE. AGAIN. #swag

@ducksfanzone:

Never change. Never.

Never.

Ever.

Change.

Dustin Penner:

Fall in love.

Presented, without comment, here is a selection of Dustin Penner’s Instagram posts. See what you can glean from it, regarding his opinion of the opposite sex:

 

Find a more culturally relevant music act to partner with:

 

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Scoring Slump Updates:

Kings:  

Screen Shot 2013-12-29 at 2.59.57 PM

TREVOR LEWIS SECONDARY ASSIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

excited-child

 

Ducks:

Last week, we told you about Ducks fan anticipating the “ketchup bottle” being opened, after Teemu Selanne scored his first goal in over two months.

Yeah, about that…

Screen Shot 2013-12-29 at 3.04.37 PM

Five points in the last 24 games. Teemu Selanne’s farewell year is looking less Mariano Rivera, and more Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

Kareem Abdul Jabbar Portrait

Winner: Everybody on Twitter (again). You guys had a lot pent up for Trevor Lewis’ first point.

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings:

Darryl Sutter, via LA Kings Insider:

Dustin Brown spent the Christmas break severely ill. In fact, he told LAKI, “I’ve never been that sick,” and claimed to have lost 13 pounds in the first 24 hours of his illness.

Darryl Sutter’s response? … “That’s good if guys lose weight after Christmas. That’s not a bad thing,”

Ducks:

Bruce Boudreau, via the Capitals Insider:

Bruce Boudreau returned to Washington last Monday. He spoke with the local media before the game.

On whether he’ll look up at the Southeast Division banners, four of which he helped win while he was behind the Capitals bench:

I don’t know what I’m going to be looking at. I’m going to try to focus totally on the game, but I know cameras are going to be on everywhere I look and that’s what they’re going to show. Oh, there he is looking at Billy Joe in the stands. I’ll be pretty focused on the game, though.

It’s hard not to get distracted by the memories of the years his team somehow topped the likes of the Panthers, Lightning, Hurricanes, and Thrashers. Really great work.

Winner: Darryl Sutter is having Brown room with Drew Doughty on this road trip, upon hearing about the 13 pounds of weight loss.

 

Third Round, Video Highlight of the Week:

Kings:

In honor of Christmas, the Kings players were asked which of their teammates is the worst gift-giver. They immediately threw each other under the bus.

 

Ducks:

See, Teemu? Old age is no excuse.

Winner: Bonus Kings Christmas Q & A. This time, “who would make the best Santa Claus?”

So, Matt Greene would make a great Santa because he’s a jolly guy? And Drew Doughty … because he’s fat?

WINNER OF THE WEEK: Ben Scrivens’ surprising taste in music.

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.