FREEWAY FARCE: Week 12



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WEEK 12 (Dec 16-Dec 22)

Los Angeles Kings (25-8-4)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the LA Kings:

groin kick

Exclusive Frozen Royalty Freeway Farce footage of Jonathan Quick testing out his injured groin this week. It looks like he may be getting close to a return. And not a moment too soon, AMIRITE???

MartinJonesSharksSave

Oh yeah, that guy … nevermind

Kings Gift Basket Round-up:

When I first heard about this, I hoped that we were talking about Drew Doughty and some Derek Jeter-type situation. Sadly though, this was just a charitable cause.

Each player’s wife or girlfriend (or in some cases wife and girlfriend, heyyyyyyyyyo) put together a gift basket, filled with their guy’s favorite stuff. Let’s see what we can learn from the items in each.

Meh, a little on the nose for me. Although, on the upside, nobody can ever again say that the Kings are classless. We got whiskey stones and Ghirardelli chocolate…what’s up!?!

I would pay good money to watch Anze Kopitar play ping pong. Then again, I would pay good money to watch Anze Kopitar do anything… and I mean ANYTHING.

Major points for the Crown Royal. Sadly, he loses all of those points, due to the DVD copy of “The Hangover.” The movie itself is bad enough, but not even a Blu Ray??? At least then it would only be a sorta out of date format.

This is actually the second submission from Kyle Clifford’s girlfriend, as the first basket was rejected for being filled with raw animal meat. Also, Old Spice deodorant is the only thing Anze Kopitar and Kyle Clifford have in common.

Who had “Good Will Hunting” as one of Jordan Nolan’s favorite movies?

The most interesting thing that Dustin Brown’s wife knows about him is that he likes coffee.

Jeff Carter loves Swedish Fish? I love Swedish Fish! Jeff Carter loves Starbucks? I love Starbucks! Jeff Carter loves “Homeland?” You’re on your own, bro.

A six pack of A & W root beer and stemless wine glasses. Let’s never go to a dinner party at Dwight King’s house.

Trevor Lewis. Confirmed bachelor. 

Jonathan Quick’s favorite movie is “Friday.” His favorite TV show is “Veep.” That is some serious range.

Robyn Regehr’s basket is a bucket. Man, this guy can’t do anything right.

Oh shit! Nevermind. 

ESPN Covered the LA Kings This Week:

Well sorta … it was actually that one show they have where two under-informed guys yell opinions at one another. Oh sorry, that’s all of their shows? Well, it was the sorta, kinda watchable one. 

Anyway, the guys on Pardon the Interruption debated about the comments made by Darryl Sutter early in the week, regarding a better use of the penalty box. We already knew that most of ESPN’s on-air personalities lack any sort of context when it comes to the NHL, making their opinions on these stories as useless as the penalty box itself. What we learned is that the average viewer is also unable to decipher what is hard news and what is Sutter being Sutter.  

And some just lack a general understand of who Daryll Sutter is.  We should also give some credit to the numerous people of Twitter who choose to take everything literally:

 

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (26-7-5)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:

pretty pretty pretty good Another undefeated week has Ducks fans feeling pretty, pretty, pretty good.

The Worst of the Worst from @ducksfanzone:

Remember when hockey’s great debate was over the New Jersey Devils’ neutral zone trap? If you don’t, you can read Helene Elliot’s column about it here. FYI, that column is 18 1/2 years old. Well, one hero has stayed vigilant in fighting the scourge that is “the trap.”

While today’s main stream media has now turned their attention to the ways that the Blues and Kings are ruining the NHL…

spec 1 spec 2

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…DFZ continues to fight the good fight. Ducks Fan Zone and Mark Spector. Kindred spirits.

Although, there is one major difference. Mark Spector deleted 2 of those 3 tweets. That’s pretty weak. And in defense of DFZ, at least he’s not PAID to give his opinions.

The good news is that by the end of the week, DFZ was back to being overly stimulated by the Ducks’ success(especially when it’s documented by 24/7):

Can you imagine if he was a Florida Panthers fan?

Good Ol’ Dustin Penner:

On Friday night, this happened:

And then on Saturday night, this happened:

Eric Stephens pointed out that these nights of rest for Selanne have been agreed upon in advance… you know, BECAUSE HE’S 43 YEARS OLD… and that Lindholm was most likely just getting a night of rest as well. As for Penner, Bruce Boudreau shared his thoughts after the game:

BRUCE BOUDREAU wants DUSTIN PENNER to be hungrier? Nope. No jokes about that. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Kings fans also remember Dustin Penner only performing for 20 games per season. Fortunately for them, he saved those for the postseason.

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SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Scoring Slump Updates:

Kings:   trevor lewis

I wonder who that could be…

trevor lewis

Ducks:

Last week, we talked about Teemu Selanne ending his 20 game slump, in which he scored no goals and only picked up one assist. Well, the Ducks and their fans had a feeling that last Sunday’s goal was just the first of many:

If you don’t understand, Sean O’Donnell can translate for you:

Since then, Selanne picked up three assists in the next two games, and was a healthy scratch in the Ducks’ third game of the week. 

While that’s not exactly enough ketchup to ruin your plate of french fries, we can probably declare an end to the slump.

Winner: Everybody on Twitter, when Martin Jones picked up an assist.

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings:

Jonathan Quick, via LA Kings Insider:

Quick, on the quality play by Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones’ in his absence:
I knew that when I first went down, before either of ‘em played a game when I was injured. Obviously Scrivs and Jonesy are great goalies, and are going to give the team a chance to win every night. Not only are they giving the team a chance to win, but they’re just winning. It’s great. It’s great to see that. At the same time, you get that itch, and you want to get out there, and you want to play games.

I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with this Quick fellow. What team did you say he plays for again?

Ducks:

Bruce Boudreau, via the LA Times:

Bruce Boudreau can’t gauge how Washington Capitals fans will respond to his return Monday night, but the Ducks coach knows how he’ll feel.

“Goosebumps all night long,” Boudreau said. “I’m going to be nervous. … I’m an emotional guy.”

Bruce Boudreau is an emotional guy, you say?

Winner: Jon Rosen. Props to The Insider for the nice work on this Robyn Regehr piece.

 

Third Round, Video Highlight of the Week:

Kings:

That move by Dwight King elicited a “YO!” and a “WHOA!” from Jim Fox. It also got this reaction out of Jeff Carter:

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Ducks:

What a performance from Ryan Getzlaf, as he sparked a comeback for the Ducks, and was even rewarded with that empty netter and a hat trick… although he only gets partial credit since it was against the Islanders.

More importantly, how bad are the attendance issues for the Islanders if Ducks fans are making a strong showing in their building. Listen to that cheer. Hockey market, my ass.

Winner: Justin Williams, because there is no way to not include this goal as well

WINNER OF THE WEEK: Drew. Doughty. Hip. Check.

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.