FREEWAY FARCE: WEEK 10



FreewayFarce900

 

WEEK 10 (Dec 2-Dec 8)

Los Angeles Kings (19-7-4)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the LA Kings:

bored

Yeah, yeah cool. The Kings are winning. Awesome.

Top 5 Reactions to Fox Sports West’s #JerseyClassic:

#5

JOFA helmets for life.

#4

@kingsmenpodcast … forever angry

#3

You see, because bloggers live with their moms. What’s your line of work again, Mr. Nicholl?

#2

Just in case you didn’t get that one, he’s referring to this.

#1

FoxRobots1996

 

The Most Confusing Conversation in the History of Twitter:

Twitter - DucksFanZone- @frozenroyalty @lovebigbobblers ...

Shall we break this down?

  • It starts with one very confusing joke(?) from @lovebigbobblers (if you aren’t familiar, he is the @ducksfanzone of Kings fans … only way worse).
  • That’s followed by a xenophobic comment from DFZ, who included all of the “@s” from the original tweet.
  •  This confused Kings “beat reporter” @frozenroyalty, as he thought DFZ’s insult was directed at him.
  • DFZ then did what DFZ does best: blame somebody/something else … refs, auto-correct, twitter apps … it really doesn’t matter.

It’s great when people act completely within their character at all times.

Kings Christmas Party Highlights:

Courtesy of Willie Mitchell’s instagram, that’s a group photo of the Kings players, at a pajama Christmas party, hosted by Jarret Stoll. It’s a lovely photo, but let’s dive deeper, by examining some of the highlights:

scrivensBen Scrivens is pounding egg nog.

slava Slava Voynov doesn’t understand what “pajamas’ are.

quick

Jonathan Quick is getting fat, while sitting out with an injury.

schultz

The #TeamTRH investigative team has determined that this is Justin Jeff Schultz … but we still aren’t sure. That tells you all you need to know about Justin Jeff Schultz as a Kings player.

stoll

Jarret Stoll … really creative costume selection by these Kings players.

doughty

Drew Doughty is holding a drink because of course he is.

clifford

I’m pretty sure Kyle Clifford is flexing

richards

Mike Richards is wearing a robe because nobody told him it was a pajama party. That’s just how he cruises the South Bay.

williams

Apparently nobody told Justin Williams about the costume party either.

dwight king

blah blah blah picture of Dwight King joke blah blah blah 

matt greene

Nobody parties like Matt Greene. Nobody.

carcillo

Daniel Carcillo does not wear sleeves to parties.

kopi 2

This picture is an accurate representation of where Anze Kopitar sits in the hierarchy of Kings players.

vey

Just as this picture was taken, Linden Vey was told that he’s headed back to Manchester as soon as Trevor Lewis is healthy.

lewis

That’s the guy who told him.

toffoli

 

TOP TITTY!!!

jones

Holy shit, Martin Jones is freakishly tall.

fraser

That’s only the second scariest picture of Colin Fraser.

martinez

carter

willie mitchell

Yo Willie Mitchell, how about we take care of everybody’s crazy red-eye before we post the next picture.

kings player x

kings player z

kings player y

Let’s call those guys Kings players X, Y, and Z because we have no clue who they are.

Not-Pictured-150

Just like the rest of this season, Dustin Brown was nowhere to be found.

 

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (20-7-5)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:

jesse pinkman

Ducks fans are getting excited about regular season success again. Let’s try to think about how last season played out.

The Worst of the Worst from @ducksfanzone (with special guest @stars_insider):

In honor of the Ducks and Kings squaring off for the first time this season, I was able to get some one-on-one time with DFZ:

You see, @theroyalhalf and @stars_insider have a bit of a history, to the point that TRH includes Stars Insider in his “Worst to Follow” lists for ALL of his Gamedays. I assure you, it is very humorous.

Surprisingly though, DFZ was not amused:

DFZ convo

Auto-correct : DFZ misspellings :: Refs : Anaheim Ducks losses

But there’s good news. DFZ found a brother-in-arms, in Stars Insider:

Stars Insider has now blocked all of #teamTRH. That’s a smart decision because, as he said, we’re obsessed with him:

Twitter - Search - insider royal staph

Twitter - Search - insider royal staph(1)

Twitter - Search - insider royal staph(2)

Cam Fowler’s Big Week:

First, we at Freeway Farce need to apologize for allowing this one to slip by a couple weeks ago:

But the big news this week was that the Ducks’ young defenseman joined the world of twitter:

Which was great, mostly because he provided us with this photo:

Ryan Getzlaf’s Tiny Jersey:

I’m just going to leave these here for you: 

Oh, and this as well:

 

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Depressing Stat Line of the Week:

Kings:

kings goalie stats

Which one of those guys just started a 10 year contract?

Ducks:

Teemu Selanne has been seemingly ageless. Every year that he deicides to return, we expect to see some sort of drop-off in his play, but the difference in his play from 40 to 41 to 42 has been indiscernible. But what about 43? Here is his offensive production over the past moth and a half:

teemu production

In other words, it has been an amazing run, but it may be time to take Teemu’s career out behind the barn:

teemu gun

 

Winner: LA Kings goalie coach, Bill Ranford. Because I’m pretty sure that if he got in a game, he could throw up a shutout at this point.

Ranford

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings:

Darryl Sutter, via LA Kings Insider:

On whether he’s happy with the team at the Thanksgiving evaluation point:
I don’t go by U.S. Thanksgiving because the season started this year a week earlier. So if you look at it, when you break it all out, I don’t look at it as 82. I look at it as 80, I look at it when you get to 20, I look at it when you get to 40. This year, 41 is actually the calendar year, which if you base it on 82, that’s half a year. You know what? Tomorrow’s 30 games. If we had 40 points, you’d double 60, that’s 80. That means after 60 you’ve got 80. What you get in the last 22? You need a hundred to make the playoffs. There’s no way around it. You know what? .600 hockey – it’s not so much winning. It’s the actual points that you accumulate. If it comes just to wins or regulation wins, then there are a lot of ties. And that could happen, but so what? What’s more important is just the process of how you accumulate, and the schedule dictates a lot of it. It doesn’t matter who you’re playing. All you’re looking for is really good work, because you’re not going to be perfect. If you’re perfect, then there would be three or four teams that never lose. It’s just sort of the way it’s set up.

If you didn’t follow his logic, go ahead and re-read it, unless your nose is currently bleeding. That may mean that you are having some sort of brain hemorrhage, and you should see a doctor. Darryl Sutter’s math was so baffling that it even got the attention of Deadspin.

Ducks:

Ryan Getzlaf, via the LA Times:

On Dustin Penner’s history with the Kings:

“If he has his mind to the game and is in good shape, he can do good things,” Getzlaf said. “He put the work in. ‘Pens’ has got a lot of character, knows how to win and knows how to play. He didn’t get a lot of opportunity to play on their top two lines. Here, he came back, knowing he had an opportunity. He’s taken that opportunity and played well.”

Hey Kings fans, Dustin Penner failed to produce in LA because he never really got a chance to play with their top two lines, so it’s not his fault.

Winner: Darryl Sutter, who becomes Johnny Tightlips when you ask him about his goalies.

The fact Jon Rosen used this clip to describe LA Kings GoalieGate™
shows why he’s the best in the business.

via LA Kings Insider:

On Scrivens coming out for the warm-up, but Jones drawing the start:
That’s what happened. [Reporter: That’s not usually how it goes, though.] Not usually, no. [Reporter: You trying to pull a fast one on us?] No. I’m not. But I don’t really have to clarify it, either.

On whether Jones is making it a “tough decision” to decide who starts in goal:
It was supposed to be the other guy’s start. [Reporter: What prompted the change?] I just said I don’t have to clarify that.

On whether he could elaborate on previous references to things “slipping into” Ben Scrivens’ game:
No. That’s all you want to talk about, is goalies. We just won three-nothing. I would think you would talk about the goalie that played tonight, not the goalie who didn’t. That’s what I would talk about. For sure, that’d be a good story. Jeez. ‘So, Darryl, how do you think Martin Jones played today?’ ‘I thought he was really solid. Made some big saves for us. Jeez. Really held us in there in the first period. I thought he was outstanding.’

 

Third Round, Video Highlight of the Week:

Kings:

Martin Jones picks up his first NHL win by shutting out the Ducks in NINE shootout rounds… and Kings fans immediately forget that there was once a guy named Ben Scrivens.

Ducks:

Patrick Maroon, originally from the St. Louis area, picked up a nice little assist in a homecoming game.

Winner: Patrick Maroon, for giving us the heart-warming moment of the week.

 

WINNER OF THE WEEK: My approval ratings!

Yup! That’s a former Ice Crew member(and current in-arena host), followed by the wife of Ben Scrivens.

 

 

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.