Greetings Kings fans!

It’s time for another recap of The Amazing Race starring Ally & Ashley!



Last episode we saw the remaining teams travel from Austria to The United Arab Emirates.  I’ve got to say as a newcomer to The Amazing Race and as a fan of travel myself I’ve really enjoyed seeing all the different geographies and cultures and climates and populations they’ve encountered.  As technology brings us all closer together and shrinks the world in more and more ways it’s nice to be reminded of just how big and diverse this blue marble of ours really is.  I couldn’t wait to see where the show would take me next.

Bye bye UAE…   HELLO…….

All0068MORE UAE???


Look I know not everybody who reads this lives in Southern California…   but I do.  And I’ve seen sand dunes.  Plenty of sand dunes.


 See that?  That’s me and my dog climbing a sand dune when I was like 12.  Big deal Amazing Race.  I didn’t have to fly to the other side of the planet to get their either.  We drove there.  In my mom’s 88 Isuzu Trooper.

Oh man…   remember the Joe Isuzu commercials?

Forget Cal Worthington… when David Leisure passes away THEN I’ll be really sad.

I suppose at this point you’re wondering why I’m not talking about The Amazing Race.  It’s because The Amazing Race didn’t try this week so I’m not going to either.

I mean really.  They follow up a “Non-elimination Leg” with an episode where they don’t even leave the country they started in?

Fine. I’ll recap it. But I’m going to complain about it. You’ve been warned.

This entire episode is filler. Or should I say… Phil-er.

First up we get another Ford commercial. Only this time in order to get into their Ford Explorer they have to figure out the digital code for the keyless lock by matching the Viking Coins they acquired in Episode 4 to the pattern on the bag and…..
…who cares.  They all figure out in no time.  Hell some of the teams figured it out before they knew what it would be for.  It’s just Ford commercial filler.


Driving dune buggies.



That’s Jamal tripping and eating shit while running to the garage where the Ford Explorers are kept.  It wasn’t important.  Or funny.  It was just 3 seconds of this episode.  THAT’S HOW MUCH NOTHING HAPPENS ON THIS EPISODE.


What was next?

blaHRight.  Dune buggies.

 So the teams all jumped in dune buggies, drove out to a clue box (really tho…  clues?  Call it an Instructions Box ok?) and then drove back to their car.

The only drama that occurred at all was when Team Bunny (now self proclaimed Ninjas because….    ?) got stuck in the sand.

TeamThisIsWhyImReallyWatchingTheShow019Nice dunes.  GET IT???

So you’d think that this would be a catastrophic setback that would cost them hours and knock them utterly out of the race right?  I mean…  they sank their dunebuggy into a sand dune and they’re two 100lbs WAGS with seemingly very little “mechanical inclination” right?



 After murdering the clutch in their dune buggy….

TeamThisIsWhyImReallyWatchingTheShow020Spoiler Alert : No.  It isn’t working.

They were simply given another dune buggy to complete the task…


Leaving the local residents to clean up yet another failed Middle Eastern incursion by spoiled Americans who don’t care about the aftermath of their……. .

Whoa.  That got weirdly political.

Anyway it turns out Ally ALSO grew up in Southern California and ALSO has experience around Sand Dunes.


So they got that going for them… which is nice.

So the teams then had to rush off to the Ail Ain Oasis and find their clues up in a palm tree and I’m like…  awesome.  They have to climb a freaking palm tree to get a clue (instruction).  That could be entertaining to watch right?  RIGHT?


Because nobody had to climb any trees.  They had guys there that did it for them.


Amazing Race you are KILLING ME!!!  Why introduce that element into it if you’re not going to have the teams struggle to get it???  HOW DO YOU KEEP WINNING ALL THE EMMYS???

I was sure whatever the Detour choices were they couldn’t be less interesting than last week.


Eh…  it’s a push.

Wedding guest was cooking.  Boring.

Beauty Contest was picking and dressing up a Camel to be judged.  That had potential.

Team Awesome used the Express Pass they leveraged out of Tim & Marie and just skipped the Detour and U-Turned the Afghanimals.

All0074You know what she’s saying is important because they printed it out on the screen.

Watching people cook never held any interest for me but I get that this is a show with broad appeal and it’s not really aimed at my demographic… but they didn’t even really show anybody doing any “cooking” and when the food was finally prepared I never really got the sense that they were in any danger of having it be rejected.  So the task seemed like it was just standing in one spot for however long it took you to cut up a shit ton of chicken, tomatoes and onions.

All0075More like the Amazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing Race, AMIRITE???

Meanwhile…   at the Camel Beauty Contest…  I fully expected some kind of insane meltdown from someone if their camel was rejected for not being “beautiful”…

but most of the reactions were more subdued.

Tim & Marie used the second U-Turn spot to U-Turn the Bunnies and now things REALLY weren’t looking great for them.


Meanwhile Travis & Nicole handled the Road Block with ease.


Easily half of this episode took place in, or talking about, cars.  I haven’t spent this much time watching people sit in a car and yell at each other since The Limo.

Eventually Team Bunny just couldn’t get another reprieve and they were eliminated.


But the Ice Girls survive and that means that I’ll be back next week…

hopefully with an episode I enjoyed more.


Of all the members of Team TRH Jesse Cohen probably comes closest to actually hating the Kings. Whether obsessing over the 1998 sweep at the hands of the St. Louis Blues, wishing he had witnessed the fight between Dmitri Khristich and Barry Potomski or cursing their attempts to fool the fans by dressing Randy Robitaille for 18 games, Jesse harbors a deep-seeded resentment towards the Kings.You can follow Jesse Cohen on Twitter @KingsMenPodcast.
  • FejsFuk Čekić

    when i saw that teams have to use a little bit of brainpower to get in to the cars i thought damn the trh recap series is over because they’ll never figure it out and they’ll just stand in front of the car for the rest of the leg glad i was wrong / the isuzu commertials were far more entertaining than this boring episode / for the people that are new to the amazing race and thinking how can this boring show have so many fans go and watch the 1st or the 6th or other great seasons you got it on youtube in bad quality or download it on any pirate site i can promise you that you will be entertained / thanks again isuzu

  • Tracy kingslover

    HAHA I forgot how much I love BEST IN SHOW.