FREEWAY FARCE: WEEK 1 FOR REAL



FreewayFarce900

 

WEEK 1 (Sep 30-Oct 6)

 

Los Angeles Kings (1-1-0)

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the LA Kings:

wiig 5

A full season of Jeff Carter…

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HE JUST SCORED AGAIN!!!

wiig gif

Oh muh god, oh muh god, oh muh god, oh muh god…

Dwight King gives his analysis of the Breaking Bad finale:

via lakingsinsider.com:

“Obviously Walt’s character went through quite a development over the seasons, and it’s kind of good that he takes onus of who he became. I appreciated that. It’s funny to see that in the end, he actually got what his first goal was – to leave money for his family. It was a kind of a fitting ending,” King said.

Leave it to Dwight King to help us get inside the mind of a maniacal sociopath.

DwightPinkman620

Reminder that not all of the Kings blogging community is as classy as theroyalhalf.com:

lakings.com fluff piece that actually told us a lot about team dynamics:

Deborah Lew asked each player which teammate he would most like to take a road trip, with minimal resources. Here are some of the most telling answers:

Matt Geene: I’d go with Jeff Carter right now because he’s got a car that can drive itself. I don’t think he can get lost, it could parallel park itself, it could tell you whatever is around, so I’d go with him, just hit the ‘snooze’ button, he’d get us home.

Just as we suspected, Jeff Carter is from the future.

Kyle Clifford: Probably Rick (Mike Richards) or Greener – they’re kind of outdoorsy. Rick would be able to fish… or Mitchy…but he’d probably talk my ear off…so probably Rick.

Kyle Clifford is not interested in Willie Mitchell’s idle chit chat.

Keaton Ellerby: If I was trying to dodge authorities, I’d go with Alec Martinez. If I was just stuck in the woods, Matt Greene seems like he’d be a forager of fire. I’d go with Marty or Greener. But Mitchy can fish – I’ll stick to the ‘D’ corps.

Make up your goddamn mind Ellerby. Also, I’m not sure what that first part means, but it might be racist?

Alec Martinez:Keaton Ellerby – he can make fire out of basically nothing, he could grow a really thick beard, he’s somewhat of a mountain man. We’d have a really good time.

Thick beard, huh?

ellerby beard

 

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (2-1-0)

 

GIF That Best Represents the Past Week for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim:
Red-Siren-Animated

ALL OF THE GOALS!!! Who could have guessed that a blueline built around Cam Fowler, and a goalie tandem of Jonas Hiller and Victor Fasth would give up 12 goals in the first three games.

Teemu continues to make it really hard to hate him:

I still don’t understand why Jets fans are so enamored with a guy who has only played for the Ducks and Coyotes organizations.

The Worst of the Worst from @ducksfanzone:

Nope.

Unfortunately, this is one thing that Kings fans can’t make fun of Ducks fans about.

Saddest tweet ever

#analysis

Ducks Fan Zone, everybody!

Screen Shot 2013-10-06 at 11.22.15 AM

Oh snap, mainstream media slam. Lesson learned.

Guess not.

SHOOTOUT: WHO WON THE WEEK?

First Round, Bonus GIF Face-off:

Kings:

TrevorLewisSave

If you don’t hear “God Bless America” and tear up when you see this, then you can GET OUT!

Ducks:

roy freak

That’s a nice little douche bag showdown that Corey Perry and Patrick Roy have going there.

Winner: Ducks.

Patrick Roy: making Bruce Boudreau seem reasonable and levelheaded.

 

Second Round, War of Words:

Kings:

via lakingsinsider.com

Darryl Sutter: And then Winnipeg, hey, I’ve only coached in there once before because we didn’t play ‘em last year, and then two years ago we played Chicago the night before and then went in there, and that was the first time I had been in that rink for an NHL game, and it was awesome. That’s the best crowd that I’ve probably been in in two years, was in Winnipeg…It was awesome. It’s right on top of you, too. It’s sort of like San Jose, but the crowd is ‘loud good,’ meaning they understand what is going on. It’s ‘loud good.’

A. That may be the best thing that anybody has ever said about Winnipeg, on record.

B. What in the hell is “loud good”? 

C. I think Darryl Sutter just implied that San Jose is “loud bad” and that they don’t understand what is going on.

Ducks:

Even Bruce Boudreau knows the significance of hockey being shown on SportsCenter.

Winner: Kings.

Suck it Sharks.

 

Third Round, Top Play:

Kings:

Let’s all celebrate not having to talk about when Drew Doughty will score his first goal.

Ducks:

The Ducks scored in the last five seconds in each of their first two games. You may say that the GWG against the Wild was more important, but without this garbage goal, they would have lost 6-0, TO THE AVALANCHE.

Winner: Kings.

DrewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWinning the Norris Trophy.

 

WINNER OF THE WEEK: KINGS.

Mainly because no Head Coach tried to fight Darryl Sutter. Yet.

A rambling man, Hrudey can't be tied to any one team. But because he's too cheap for NHL Gamecenter, his NHL universe consists only of Ducks and Kings broadcasts. What he lacks in knowledge of the actual sport of hockey, he makes up for in snark and pop culture references. You can follow Hrudey Can't Fail on Twitter @HrudeyCantFail.