NORTH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BLOGGER – THE WINNER!



PRESENTING…. THE WINNER…
OF TRH’S NORTH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BLOGGER…..

Hello.

I’m Flubber McGee.

Pretty cool, huh?  Yeah, it’s exciting being on the Internet.

You may remember me from last Friday.  It’s nice to see you again.

So, apparently I’m the “celebrity” contestant of NANTB.  What that says for the state of blogging I’ll let you decide, but my Kansas City hockey blog has not produced the expected level of celebrity desired that comes with running a blog.  I demand more.  I will not rest until I have rink side seats and my own Zamboni for personal use.  Isn’t that why anyone gets into blogging?  Yes, yes it is.

That means I’m here typing at you today because I believe being a part of the Royal Half will definitely get me those things, plus get me into those classy soirées with the hottest Internet people.  I’ve only been propositioned by Twitter bots, and while that’s nice, they don’t provide the level of class and sophistication a Katie Baker, Jen Neale, or One Girl One Puck do.  Plus, Twitter bots don’t shower.  Don’t ask.

Heck, being a NANTB contestant has already changed my life for the better.  Since Friday, I’ve made a bunch of Internet bucks ($Internet!!!), bought a bunch of drugs, gone to jail three times for a variety of assault charges resulting from drug induced schizophrenia, gone to rehab, lost all of my $Internet and fixed that transmission fluid leak in my car.  All in all a productive weekend, and I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.  And my experience on The Royal Half’s sort of game show thing.

Joining hashtag Team TRH is a dream come true for me.  I remember as a young boy growing up three and a half years ago reading The Royal Half’s game recaps and thinking, “I bet he makes millions of dollars and gets all the fly honies hangin’ at the Internet Cafe.  I wish I could kick it like him, yo” (didn’t we speak weird back in 2010?).  Little did I know I was only half right.  You could say I was “Royal Half” right.  Get it?  GET IT?!?!  LOVE ME!!!!!!

The Kings have been in my blood since they left for Sacramento oh so many years ago.  It’s hard to believe they will be playing in Seattle in a few months.  That said, I won’t go in-depth about my level of Kings fandom.  Everything you need to know about me can be found in this video:

lol Riga, Latvia. Is that like Wonderland or Oz or something?!
Hockey players say the damnedest things!

Anyway, my job here is to provide the occasional aloof or snarky comment, make readers think I’m an idiot, and draw people to the site just so they can call me a troll in the comments section.  I also made this:

 Flubber Photo Shop

Remember when Fidel Castro fell down stairs?  Well, I put Ryane Clowe in there tripping him (because he does that!), with Doughty laughing in the background.  Pretty damn timeless.

So, yeah, that’s what you can expect.  Realistically, I have no discernible talent but I can half-ass a lot of things, so if you see anything on the site that the Half or the rest of the hashtag team isn’t doing then shoot me an email and I’ll be sure to ignore it.

Hugs and kisses,
Flubber

 

*TRH NOTE: We are excited to have Flubber on board… but what Flubber doesn’t know is that there is a surprise twist… in a few hours on The Royal Half… it will be revealed that the game of North America’s Next Top Blogger will never be the same!!!*

Flubber McGee is TRH's resident Kansas City correspondent, and has survived as a Kings fan long before the dawn of Internet streaming sites. He has seen the Kings win exactly zero non-exhibition games in person. Have you ever achieved enlightenment? Flubber has, because he once witnessed Kevin and Brett Westgarth fight in, and get kicked out of, the same game (they didn't fight each other, unfortunately). In addition to being a part of TRH, Flubber runs a Kansas City hockey blog. It's exactly what you think it is. You can follow Flubber McGee on Twitter @FlubberMcGee.
  • Todd S. Jenkins

    Mazel tov, Flubbie!

  • Westgarth

    Sweet baby Jesus, this happened? Where have I been?