NORTH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BLOGGER – ALSO THE WINNER!



IN A SURPRISE TWIST THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE ON NORTH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BLOGGER…
THERE ARE TWO WINNERS!!!

*TRH NOTE: That’s right, in addition to Flubber McGee… we are also bringing King Tufficult on board to #TeamTRH. Here is his 1st post:*

 

North America’s Next Top Blogger is the big stage. It’s why we play the game. Contestants spend years tweeting obscenities at Paul Bissonnette preparing for their shot at the Show and the chance to get their names engraved in the HTML of The Royal Half. Some people go their whole career without getting a sniff of this rarefied air that smells vaguely of Bud Light Lime and urine.

That’s why I savored every minute of it. I’ll talk more about this at my victory parade, but first let me introduce myself. I’m King Tufficult. I’m 28 years old. I’ve been a Kings fan since roughly around the time I stopped spitting up every two minutes and waving my pudgy arms around (~10 months ago). Over the course of my life, being a LA Kings fan has brought unfathomable joy to myself and my liver, gotten me banned at several ESPN Zone restaurants, forced my girlfriend to decorate an entire room of our house purple/black/silver, and brought me in contact with dozens of people who share my passion for this beautiful game and our Los Angeles hockey club.

Last year I worked in the same huge building downtown as Patrick O’Neal and the FS West crew. One day, I happened to be wearing a Kings t-shirt (business casual or GTFO) and headed down to the building’s cafeteria for lunch. As I stood in line, I spotted Patrick across the room. I figured I wouldn’t bother him, even though I was still riding a huge high from our recent Cup victory and had never met the guy. A few minutes later, there’s a tap on my shoulder – Patrick came up to me and we started talking with increasingly childlike excitement about the Kings, grinning like idiots and being stared at by the silent, suited patrons in line who glumly stared down at their wilted salads. They didn’t understand.

You see, you and I share a connection because of this incredible sport, one that makes us instant friends. We both understand that hockey is exciting, violent, insanely fast, gloriously high-stakes, populated with all manner of interesting characters; from the mouth-breathing pugilist, to the elite world-class skill guys, to balding broadcasters. And I look forward to making jokes at the expense of all of them.

I’ll be writing Pacific Division recaps, finding humorous or interesting Kings-related tweets, covering games, and cracking wise on Twitter. Some of my jokes will be funny. You might pee a little. Some of my jokes will be bad. You might pee a little.

But know this – tomorrow the sun will rise, and the Kings will still have a Stanley Cup victory.

And I will be a member of #TeamTRH, bitches.

As a child, King Tufficult liked to hang out at Iceoplex to watch his dad's summer skating group that included many gloriously mulleted individuals. Some of the people attached to those mullets played for the early 90's LA Kings. It was destiny. Since then, King Tufficult has enjoyed such hobbies as: watching his lifelong favorite sports team achieve their first championship in history, being unable to pee at Staples Center if too many people are waiting for his urinal, and "contributing" to The Royal Half.If you're a glutton for punishment, you can follow King Tufficult on Twitter @KingTufficult.