TRH 2ND ROUND PLAYOFF RECAP 6 – SAN JOSE SHARKS: TANK’D


*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF,
BUT RATHER PUMPERNICHOLL, OUR MASTER RECAPPER*

 

KINGS 1, SHARKS 2,
SURPRISED, NO ONE

 

It was an elimination night in San Jose for the Sharks. The Los Angeles Kings had pushed their Pacific Division foes to the brink and the teams now faced off in arguably the biggest game the rival teams had ever played.
 
Game 6 was the only game in the NHL on Sunday night and all eyes were on San Jose as the game potentially the meant the end of the Sharks season.
Oh for Christ's sake. This is exactly why no one takes California seriously. 
 
 
PREGAME:
SANHO' representin'.

What?

Oy…

Um, we really should start the game now.
 
 
FIRST PERIOD:
Bold move, Alexander Supertramp.
 

Hockey fans, everyone!
 

Parents must be proud.
 

Well that was graphic.
 
#Grammar
 

I think Lexi had a stroke about halfway through that tweet.
 
Old Man Thornton knows when you're sleeping.
 
 
SECOND PERIOD:
 
He's the second best goalie in this series …behind Jonathan Bernier.
 
Ugh.
SMASH!
 
DUSTIN SMASH!
 
San Jose REALLY loves its hashtags.
 
 
THIRD PERIOD:
Hockey fans again, everyone!
 
*throws up*
 

*throws up again*
 

Damn right!
*throws up again*
 

That last hashtag is the most San Jose thing ever.
 
You know it!
*throws up again*
 

I HAVE NO DOUBTS!
*throws up again*
 

When "Keepin' It Teal" goes wrong.
 
There's nothing good about that tweet.
 
Was that a question?
 

I really don't think Sharks fans understand when a team actually advances to the next round.
 
Uh, maybe this will help.
 
Never change, Sharks fans.
 
 
 
 
 
TRH THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT
 
3. Sharks Fans

Well that wasn't creepy at all…
 
 
2. More Sharks Fans
At least now half of all Sharks fans can see exactly what they look like.
 
And now so can the other half!
 
So is it time for Game 7 to start yet?
 
 
1. Jonathan Quick
 
Now that I've finished crying and throwing up, I can share the one thing that will take away all of the worries Kings fans may be feeling. Sure, it's Game 7 and the Sharks have a little momentum heading back to Staples Center, but what they don't have is a man who has become possessed while playing in front of the home crowd.
 
Just take a look at Quick's ridiculous home stats from the playoffs:
 

Wowza.
 
I'll see you at Game 7! …from under my seat in the fetal position.
 
 
 
 
 
PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games… and the Police Academy movies. You can follow him on Twitter.
The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.