TRH 2ND ROUND PLAYOFF RECAP 6 – SAN JOSE SHARKS: TANK’D
*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF,
BUT RATHER PUMPERNICHOLL, OUR MASTER RECAPPER*
KINGS 1, SHARKS 2,
SURPRISED, NO ONE
It was an elimination night in San Jose for the Sharks. The Los Angeles Kings had pushed their Pacific Division foes to the brink and the teams now faced off in arguably the biggest game the rival teams had ever played.
Game 6 was the only game in the NHL on Sunday night and all eyes were on San Jose as the game potentially the meant the end of the Sharks season.
Sharks Intro. Meh vine.co/v/bVULKiuQx60— Ivan (@ibp3000) May 27, 2013
Oh for Christ's sake. This is exactly why no one takes California seriously.
OMG, Sharks play today. Fuck the Kings bruhs. SANHO' SHARKS ALL DAY,ERRRDAY— Tony Flow (@CHNGZLeCreateur) May 26, 2013
#SJSVSLAK #BeatLA #BeatTheKINGS#SJsharks #StanleyCupPlayoffs #FUCKLA #SHARKSTERRITORY #BRINGYOURLOUD #BECAUSEITSTHECUP WE NEEDA FORCE 7— Mulatto❤Mixed Girls (@MixedNigga_) May 26, 2013
Fuck the LA Kings. Go Sharks tonight! The LA Kings are fucking pussies.— Joe Quilty III (@JoeyThunder55) May 26, 2013
FUCK THE LA KINGS…SHARK TANK ON YOU HOES— Eric Loera_408 (@ericloera) May 27, 2013
Fuck the Sharks , the Kings need to finish this tonight so we (LA) can chant "Beat by LA" hahahaha!— Michelle Ibarra (@lovelyy_shell) May 27, 2013
— Jennifer James (@JenPoem41) May 26, 2013
— Nick Cugini (@NickCugini11) May 27, 2013
I'm horny, and I demand hockey. Now I know what a heroin addict feels like. If kings win…I'm calling my ex for the fuck of her life 2nite— LAKinger90210 (@LAKinger90210) May 27, 2013
Um, we really should start the game now.
I dislike wearing my jerseys unless I'm actually at the game but I'm rockin the fuck out of my sharks sweater right now— Alexander Supertramp (@JoshDontCare) May 27, 2013
Bold move, Alexander Supertramp.
Right! My guide told me 10pm ET -.- RT @pookeo9 lol what the fuck i thought the Sharks game was on later— kaitland (@loveforthree) May 27, 2013
Hockey fans, everyone!
Oh poor sharks player is injured! Fuck you pussy get up.— erik elmer (@erikelmer45) May 27, 2013
Fuck the sharks those cocksucking mother fuckers i hate them more than the ducks! The sharks actually eat dick! #Fuckem— Matteo Tolman (@RealMattTolman) May 27, 2013
GET BETTER FUCKING GOAL MUSIC SHARKS YOUR FUCKING CASIO ORGAN BULLSHIT IS SO STUPID FUCK— Andrew (@searexx) May 27, 2013
Fuck the sharks twitter.com/Model_420/stat…— Snow White (@Model_420) May 27, 2013
Parents must be proud.
thHE SHARKS SCORED WHTA TBE FUCK— ♡ lindsey ♡ (@lushnarry) May 27, 2013
Wow fuck this hotel. They really dont have the sharks game on any channel #eatdirtybutthole #becauseitsthecup #grandsierraresort— chris clark (@Whattheclark) May 27, 2013
Well that was graphic.
To the Kings fans (who didn't know what hockey was before last year) I say go fuck yourself— Joe Acre (@SJacre7) May 27, 2013
— Alex Almeida (@Its_Vision) May 27, 2013
Fuck goalposts. #lakings— The Mouth (@TheMouthLAKings) May 27, 2013
Three posts so far. Holy fuck this is painful. #LAKings— Andy (@gokings08) May 27, 2013
i do not have time to deal with this shit the shARKS ARE WINNING GAME 6 WE'RE BACK FUCK THORNTON YOU ARE THE BEST— Lexi Beckett (@thelovelyangels) May 27, 2013
I think Lexi had a stroke about halfway through that tweet.
Well at least Kings outplayed the Sharks it seems. Only way Sharks could score was the 5 on 3 PUSSIES LMAO JK. Oh and FUCK YOU POST #GKG— Stephen Mills (@stm827) May 27, 2013
Fuck the Sharks and the retirement home they're running on the bench. Thornton is a fucking dinosaur.— Ben Chernaski (@Chernaski) May 27, 2013
Old Man Thornton knows when you're sleeping.
I want the kings to win but holy fuck do I have a goalie boner for Antti Niemi.— Tom Repp (@trepp84) May 27, 2013
He's the second best goalie in this series …behind Jonathan Bernier.
#SHARKS AGAIN!!!! FUCK U KINGS BANDWAGONERS— Zachary Nogueira (@ZackNogueira) May 27, 2013
2-0 SHARKS FUCK LA!!!! BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM KINGS!! KEEP IT UP!! Smash them!!— Tank (@frankievaldezjr) May 27, 2013
Fuck you Brown 2 – 1 Sharks— Vince Gauvin (@Kratos_MVN_) May 27, 2013
Go home Matt Greene, you big ginger fuck #beatla— Daniel Poe (@Home_DPoe) May 27, 2013
— Adam Koutz ♋ (@KooucciMane) May 27, 2013
San Jose REALLY loves its hashtags.
— Chris Hall (@hallinsky) May 27, 2013
Hockey fans again, everyone!
The reffs r a fucking joke in this sharks game u can see they really want a game 7 fucking sad call something on sharks for fuck sake— carl d (@gloucester22) May 27, 2013
— James Woj (@jameswoj) May 27, 2013
FUCK YES GAAME 7 BITCHES OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SHARKS WINNNNN— TheCouchTarts (@CouchTarts) May 27, 2013
*throws up again*
Fuck the sharks it ends in Hollywood— jr 24 (@lakeshow2013) May 27, 2013
*throws up again*
— Daniel Green (@KnocNightowl951) May 27, 2013
That last hashtag is the most San Jose thing ever.
Fuck the sharks.. Oh we'll kings go back home so looks like they will be advancing to the conference finals— Kyle Heroux (@kyle_heroux) May 27, 2013
You know it!
*throws up again*
— The Big Dipper®™ (@TheRealHomonnay) May 27, 2013
Fuck The Goddamn Sharks. We'll Fuckin Slaughter Them On Tuesday!— Tony Montejo (@TonyMontejo17) May 27, 2013
I HAVE NO DOUBTS!
*throws up again*
— ϟ ΛÐ∀ℳ ϟ (@MrNothnPersonal) May 27, 2013
When "Keepin' It Teal" goes wrong.
Fuck the sharks and old cripple jomo homo Thornton and handicap Scott Gomez @danyallstar15— Logan Skori (@laskori12) May 27, 2013
There's nothing good about that tweet.
FUCK LA!!! WE BEAT THE KINGS AND TIME TO FINISH THE JOB!!! FUCK THE KINGS FANS AND FUCK LA!!! BEAT LA! BEAT LA!! BEAT LA!!! WHAT NOW LA!!!— manuel silva (@SHARKSFAN1995) May 27, 2013
Was that a question?
Well fuck….god I hate San jose sharks fans. They're like weeee we didn't get eliminated.— Jeff (@Mooymoney) May 27, 2013
#FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #FuckLA #BeatLA #SJSharks— Jeff Adams (@jeffmadams) May 27, 2013
Bring on the Red Wings! Fully confident the Sharks will win game 7. Fuck the rest of the bandwagon fans! Sharks don't need scrubs. #sharks— Andy Hermosillo (@icesharky) May 27, 2013
I really don't think Sharks fans understand when a team actually advances to the next round.
— Kelsey (@belsmariek43) May 27, 2013
Uh, maybe this will help.
sharks/kings game seven is on my birthday so don't fuck this up @sanjosesharks— becca (@bfischh) May 27, 2013
I also missed the #sharks game? God damn fuck shit— Anish Kumar Sood (@DarthKumar) May 27, 2013
Never change, Sharks fans.
My religion teacher called LA Kings the 'Cinderella team' Off is the direction in which i'd like you to fuck.— A N I ♡ (@spankthetoaster) May 27, 2013
TRH THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT
3. Sharks Fans
go sharks!! vine.co/v/bVUQJiYYYpK— neah ʊ(@neahchurchill) May 26, 2013
— Steven Seadler (@sseadler) May 27, 2013
— Alexander Sabari (@PSIFonian) May 27, 2013
Sharks game cheering on my neighbor Burnzie ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ vine.co/v/bVxzt6g1uX1— hayden (@haydendidwhat) May 27, 2013
Well that wasn't creepy at all…
2. More Sharks Fans
Go Sharks Beat LA… No alcoholic beverages were consumed by this fan! vine.co/v/bVPrwwBHWIq— Victor Alexander (@azcoyotedog) May 27, 2013
At least now half of all Sharks fans can see exactly what they look like.
Go sharks vine.co/v/bVPpi5VzFh0— Amy Higgins (@Amy_Kinz2) May 27, 2013
And now so can the other half!
Go sharks! vine.co/v/bVxZKwYja2F— Katrina (@katrinac1998) May 27, 2013
So is it time for Game 7 to start yet?
1. Jonathan Quick
Now that I've finished crying and throwing up, I can share the one thing that will take away all of the worries Kings fans may be feeling. Sure, it's Game 7 and the Sharks have a little momentum heading back to Staples Center, but what they don't have is a man who has become possessed while playing in front of the home crowd.
Just take a look at Quick's ridiculous home stats from the playoffs:
I'll see you at Game 7! …from under my seat in the fetal position.