Car-pe Diem


It all started with an innocent late night tweet…

That’s right. I had spent the better part of a few hours watching videos like this. And then… within seconds of posting that Tweet…


And then finally… just like he’s been doing all playoffs long… Colin Fraser dropped some knowledge on our asses. 

Colin Fraser tweeted at me. I could almost cry.

Within minutes, Brigitte from One Girl, One Puck was on the case. There is a reason she has won The Royal Half Investigative Reporter of the Year Award seven straight years. Here she is with her latest field report… The 2012 Los Angeles Kings… and the Cars That Love Them. Take it away, Brigitte!!!

This post is an example of what happens when there’s no hockey on TV. The Kings punched their ticket to the Stanley Cup Final the other night in Phoenix and when the team arrived in LA, thousands of Kings fans greeted them. It was a crazy scene as the players drove their cars past passionate and excited fans. Of course, the only thing that’s really important about the video is seeing what the players drive.

Jonathan Quick drives a giant S-Class Mercedes.
He also drove Willie Mitchell because an adult over the age of 25
must be present when you’re driving with your learner’s permit.  

Anze Kopitar gets driven around in a white Escalade, because he’s Anze Fucking Kopitar.

Rob Scuderi drives Jarret Stoll in a Porsche Cayenne, because Stoll is clearly hammered. 

 

The legend himself Bob Miller drives a Lexus (because he’s old),
but it’s a SC model (because he doesn’t want to believe he’s old). 

Trevor Lewis drives a white Mercedes C-Class with red interior… of course he does.
Drew Doughty laughs at how poor Trevor Lewis is. 
(Seriously… does Drew Doughty even remember who Wayne Simmonds was?) 

 

Dustin Brown drives a ridiculously dirty Mercedes. Seriously, clean your damn car.  

Power couple Mike Richards and Jeff Carter head home for a romantic evening in Mike’s Range Rover.

Seriously Quick… are you allowed to be driving at night?

Matt Greene ironically drives a beat up Jeep. He’s the Kings designated hipster.

Jarret Stoll is definitely drunk.

I have no idea what Jordan Nolan is driving, but I bet it’s a piece of crap.
(I also can’t be the only one who thought the guy in the passenger seat was Jack Johnson at first glance.) 

Even Coach Sutter got caught up in the fun!

This is why there needs to be hockey on every night. While I’m already dwelling in ridiculous fan girl territory… Royal Half… can you get me a screengrab of Jeff Carter’s ass as the Kings are leaving the plane?

Thanks.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.