TRH Gameday 54 – Tampa Bay Lightning: The Worst


Game #54

LA KINGS 
25-18-10
60 pts
7th in Western Conference
vs
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
23-23-5
51 pts
11th in Eastern Conference

4:30pm, Tampa Bay Times Forum
Tampa Bay, FL 

BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

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BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:
Lightning Hockey Blog
Raw Charge
Don’t Trade Vinny

Take one dose of the Tampa Bay Lightning:

53 GAMES – 145 GOALS SCORED – 2.84 GOALS PER GAME (8th in NHL)
53 GAMES – 170 GOALS AGAINST – 3.33 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (30th in NHL)

Add one shake of the Los Angeles Kings:

53 GAMES – 111 GOALS SCORED – 2.09 GOALS PER GAME (30th in NHL)
53 GAMES – 110 GOALS AGAINST – 2.08 GOALS AGAINST PER GAME (3rd in NHL)

…And you’ve got yourself quite the amazing team. Stats don’t lie. The Los Angeles Kings need the Tampa Bay Lightning’s scoring ability and the Tampa Bay Lightning need the Los Angeles Kings ability to keep the puck out of the net. Here’s an idea for the Trade Deadline…. just combine the teams and the Stanley Cup is ours. Or theirs. Or both of ours!!! Hey… how is that 10 day, 6 game road trip that determines the playoff future of this hockey team going?

Oh boy.
If the Kings keep losing 1 goal games I feel like Dean Lombardi is going to do something really bad.
Like really bad.

Mike Richards is so upset at his lack of scoring that he has regressed to acting like a schoolboy.

Jack Johnson does his best impression of how many goals
the Kings are going to score on the rest of this road trip.

 

Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn’t blowing a burp out of the side of his mouth.

Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn’t trying to hold back a fart here.

Try and tell me that Darryl Sutter isn’t trying to hold back taking a shit here.

I don’t know what Darryl Sutter is trying to do here… but it scares me.

Ken Hitchock is shocked at Darryl Sutter’s behavior.

Now that’s a good looking coach! Sorry… “special assistant.”

It’s too bad the Kings hired Darryl Sutter instead of Kirk Muller.
He just looks like he belongs behind the bench of a Los Angeles Sports Team.
Oh… and his team actually scores goals.

Is it me… or has Dave Lewis gotten crazy fat since he left Los Angeles? 

Yes, yes he has.

Until they start scoring goals for the Kings…
ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING SUTTER FAMILY.

“So wait… the point of a hip check is to pin the guy against the boards to prevent him from passing you?”

“Yes, Drew. It is.”

“Wow, I had no idea.
Wait… what’s going on… are we in Heaven?”

“No, it’s Iowa.”

 

Hey, Kings fans. There is 7 million dollars of your ticket money at work.

Worst. Episode of The Office. Ever.

It’s the worst goaltending versus the worst scoring in the NHL tonight in Tampa Bay. What’s the worst that can happen?

Oh boy.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.