TRH Recap 41: Coyote Ugly

Look… I’m really glad that the Los Angeles Kings are 5-0-3 since firing Terry Murray and replacing him with Darryl Sutter. But too many people are ignoring a growing problem… and now it’s affecting young players that don’t even know how to call for help in the native language of this country.

I’ll give you 1 guess whose hand that is on Andrei Loktionov’s shoulder.

How is it possible that he can even make faces like this?

Keep a close eye on how slowly Sutter pulls his hand away from Loktionov’s shoulder.
I’m telling you this is a scandal waiting to happen… I just hope it happens after the Kings make the playoffs..


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Man, that game was the bee’s knees, huh?

Or at least the Drew’s Knees.

Seriously, how does Drew Doughty drive to the net with such skinny legs?

Since everyone is starting to complain about the All-Star Game and the players that are selected to it… can we take a moment here to realize that Jon Quick could be the first Kings All-Star Goalie since… Mario Lessard?

It was so long ago they didn’t even have color.

How much has Jon Quick been killing it this season? He has given up 3 goals or less in 31 of 34 games. Imagine where this Kings team would be if they hadn’t scored two or fewer goals in 31 of 41 games this season. With the way Jon Quick has been playing… it’s enough to make anyone smile.

I love it when I get reminded our goalie is 12 years old.

How BORING was this game though?

Jack Johnson was so bored he spent the whole time on the bench re-telling his dad’s stories.

Of course, earlier in the day everyone was talking about the triumphant and controversial return of Bernie Nicholls as a “consultant” for the Kings during Wednesday’s practice session. Obviously it worked, since the Kings exploded for 1 goal in Overtime against the Coyotes.

“Hey, Bernie… I’m have the hardest time scoring this year. I went 17 games without a goal.”

“Hmm, let me think. In 1988-89 I once went 7 minutes without scoring a goal.”

In an effort to right the wrong of labeling Daryl Evans a LA Kings “Legend”… in addition to Bernie Nicholls, the Kings have been marching out other esteemed alumni recently.

Looks to me like Marty McSorley should be attending a different kind of camp this summer.

When the LA Kings trade for players… they forget how to play hockey and end up awful.
When the LA Kings trade away players… they go on to win 4 consecutive Stanley Cups.

Boy, TV coverage of the game of hockey hasn’t changed one bit, has it!

Darryl Sutter stroking Andrei Loktionov’s shoulder or Drew Doughty’s boney knees weren’t the scariest thing I saw last night during the Kings 1-0 victory over the Coyotes…

This was.

Is it just me or does Shane Doan look like Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation?

“Hey Mike… you’re awesome.”

“Come on Kopi… you’re awesome.”

“Fine, we are both awesome.”

“Agreed. Now.. how much does Penner suck or what?” 

“Look, Jamie. I’m a straight-shooter. I’m bringing in Bernie to replace you or Stevens. But probably Stevens.”

“Um… I’m right here, sir. I can hear you.”

Pay no attention to those 4 games in hand the San Jose Sharks have… at the halfway point of the 2011-2012 NHL Season, the Los Angeles Kings are 1 point out of the Pacific Division lead and only 6 points out of 1st place in the West. It’s a goddamn Christmas Miracle.

The only other miracle would be Anze Kopitar scoring in consecutive games.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.