TRH Recap 12: Lubed Up

I wouldn’t say that the Edmonton Oilers are a young team… but on Thursday night, a few of the players were acting a little bit immature. 

“Okay, your turn.”

“Alright… Ryan Smyth is so old that his birth certificate says ‘expired.'”

“Ha, good one Taylor!”

“Ryan Smyth is so old, that his home phone number is 1.”

“What’s a home phone?”


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I don’t know about you guys… but maybe Thursday night wasn’t the right time to break out the 2007-2008 Heritage Throwback Jerseys … because the Los Angeles Kings really played like they were trying to honor that team.

Replace Ethan Moreau with Scott Thornton and it’s pretty much a game from 2007.

Of course, the big news last night was the return of Ryan Smyth, who stated that one of the main reasons he wanted to leave LA was to experience the four seasons again. I think that’s a pretty lame excuse, considering we have a couple of those here in LA. 

“Are you guys ready to get back to Edmonton and see that fuckin’ awesome November foliage or what?!”

I understand why the fans at Staples Center were booing Ryan Smyth. Had I been at the game, I wouldn’t have been booing. Well, I would have… it just would have been for the home team.


“I don’t know, Greener. I’ve just been struggling to find out what the difference between
our team is from a week and a half ago when we were playing great to how we are playing now.”

“Yeah… um… no idea there, Drew.” 

Although, I loved his time here in Los Angeles, Ryan Smyth just belongs on the Edmonton Oilers. I wish there was some way to visually represent that.

I’m not saying that Ryan Smyth is getting old…
but Andy Rooney just called and told him to trim up those eyebrows

Edmonton Oilers jersey and a LA Dodgers hat. No wonder the youth of today are so confused.
Check out how sad that kid in the lower left-hand corner is.

The Kings played awful this entire game. It’s almost like they believed all the hype that is being written about the Oilers and its “Baby Oil Line” of Taylor Hall, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Eberle. And then two dudes named Lennart Petrell and Corey Potter went out and scored. The Kings were so impressed they decided to literally sit and watch the Oilers play.

I look forward to all the Harry Potter pun headlines on

What’s that you say? The Kings have lost 3 in a row yet still sit 6th in the Western Conference? Well I say they are only 1 point away from being 12th. 

“Hello, my name is Dustin. And the City of Los Angeles has informed me that I have to
let you know that I’ve recently moved into your neighborhood.” 

Oh… I’m not suggesting that Dustin Penner looks like a registered sex offender…
… no, he’s playing like he’s in the witness protection program.

Since giving away a free t-shirt to the winner of PennerPoint on October 18th, Dustin Penner has now gone 7 games without a point. And on Saturday in Los Angeles against the best team in the NHL… he looks to make it 8!

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.