Ruck, Fichards?!?


Well, the NHL Draft is upon us tomorrow and I thought I would take an in-depth look at the several prospects out there in this years Draft. Now, everyone is talking about Ryan Nugent-Hopkins… but for me the real steal is lower in the draft with Alexander Khokhlac… OH MY FUCKING GOD, THE KINGS JUST TRADED FOR MIKE RICHARDS. ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!?!??!?!?!

Hey there. I’m Mike. Nice to meet you.

I mean… holy shit! GM Dean Lombardi pulls the trigger on a massive trade, giving up Wayne Simmonds, Brayden Schenn and a 2012 2nd Round Pick for Philadelphia Flyers Captain Mike Richards and throwaway player Rob Bordson. I’ve been saying since last September that the one thing the Kings needed the most was a 2nd line center. I just had no idea that 2nd line center would be Mike Fucking Richards.

Yeah, I’d say that might work for a 2nd line center.
I can’t remember… what were the Kings using at that position last year?

Jarret Stoll.

Michal Handzus.

Sure, Wayne Simmonds was a fan favorite. But let’s be honest here, hockey fans. At the most he’s a 22 goal right winger who is going to throw his skinny 175 pound frame around in the corners. He struggled this season and with the emergence of Kyle Clifford, it’s made Simmonds expendable. But man, I’ll miss those chats he had with Michal Handzus.

Brayden Schenn has all the potential to be a world-class hockey player. But he’s 19 years old and as 80,000 people said on Twitter today…. Schenn is projected as a “Mike Richards type.” Well, the Kings just traded Schenn for Mike Richards. 

Good thing they got rid of Wayne Simmonds.

Now I’m a Los Angeles Kings fan… so I have every belief in my heart that once he laces up for this hockey franchise, Mike Richards will completely forget everything that he knows about the game of hockey and struggle to score a goal. It’s just how it works here in Los Angeles. Right, Dustin Penner?

The biggest question facing Kings fans right now is “Will Mike Richards, a small-town boy from Kenora, Ontario, be able to adjust to living in Hollywood?”

Yeah, I’m sure he’ll do fine.

And imagine what he’ll look like when he sees the Kings sideline reporter

“Are you kidding me? I saw that chick on The Apprentice.”

And best of all… Richards wouldn’t look out of place as an extra on Entourage.

But what everyone seems to be forgetting about Mike Richards is the one big intangible he brings to the Los Angeles Kings…

Winter Classic experience!!!

Oh, and this.

Oh, and this.

Oh, and this.

I wonder if the Los Angeles Kings Marketing Department is excited about this trade?

But the person most excited about today’s trade?

Yeah, I’d say with this trade you’ve got about 
4 months top to show that this team is a winner.

We are a long way away from the start of the 2011-2012 NHL Season. But in a few swift hours, the Los Angeles Kings have made a great move that makes them a bit tougher of an opponent in the already tough Pacific Division. And until Mike Richards goes scoreless in the first 2 months of the season… Kings fans can feel really excited about this team. And they still haven’t traded Bernier yet!

Your LA Kings 2nd Line Center.

Did you really think that The Royal Half would go more than 6 hours without creating a Mike Richards t-shirt for our Gift Shoppe?

UPDATED: Here it is…. The Royal Half’s 1st Mike Richards t-shirt:

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.