Pundays: Turnbuckle Up and Hold On
Over the course of last week the talk of the hockey world was players who seek out other players necks and break them. And while your opinion on whether the Zdeno Chara hit on Max Paniorrity was a “hockey play” or not might differ… I think we can all agree that NHL.com handled this ugly incident hit with their usual elegance of pun sensitivity…
It’s no secret that the NHL is struggling to gain the attention it deserves as a major sport. And with the NFL on pause for the next year or so, now is the time for the NHL to leap into the sports spotlight. And as any good PR firm will tell you… the best way to get noticed by America is to have a hit movie! So this past week, the pun headline writers at NHL.com were ready for their closeup!
I misread “staring” and thought it was about people who stare at Hollywood stars.
As we all know, the first rule of box office success is a striking, leading man.
I have a feeling the only film Anze Kopitar will be starring in will be a bio-pic of Frankenberry.
But if you can’t afford a high-priced actor to star in your film, the next best step is putting together an emotional script that will tug at the heartstrings.
I would have gone with “Sal-mon-ela Wipes Out Long Island.”
Anze Kopitar may not be ready for his closeup… oh dear god, please keep him away from the closeup… but the real key to bringing new fans to the great sport of hockey is by associating it with some of the big-time actors in Hollywood. There is Tom Cruise…
Yeah, John Travolta. Look it up.
and Arnold Schwarzenegger…
A very popular trend in Hollywood these days is re-making old classics. And if it’s going to bring people to the ticket box office, the NHL doesn’t care about ruining the greats.
And when all else fails… make a film geared towards children.
But no matter what, make sure that you are performing for the camera.
Don’t think that the life of Hollywood star is an easy one. You have to make sure you are taking care of yourself constantly and your entourage is always reminding you how good-looking you are.
But if the NHL plays their cards right… they might have the life of Box Office Star.
Stepping away from the world of Hollywood gossip, there was a NHL player that made his debut last week to the incredible delight of the pun headline writers at NHL.com.
I think NHL.com made a huge mistake in not pandering to the huge audience of Arrested Development fans.
And because it’s what you come here for… let the name pun headlines commence!
If Carey Price ever goes Ron Hextall crazy, this could become Price Chopper.
Any pun headline about Eric Condra that doesn’t involve a reference to an old Nintendo game is a wasted one in my book.
I know for a fact that someone at the NHL offices pitched S-Katy Perry instead.
Pun Headline Fever is spreading across the internet and even affected the boys over at Pro Hockey Talk this past week.
The NHL.com pun headline writers still refuse to shy away from controversial headlines…
… or at least until their boss calls and tells them to change it.
It might be time for the good people at NHL.com to spend a little less time thinking of funny pun headlines and concentrate on a little fact checking.
“Flames could jump from 8th to 8th in West by topping Canucks.”
I don’t think it’s an error… it’s just how incredibly tight the Western Conference is this season.
And this weeks winner of the Pundays Most Controversial Headline of the Week…
As always, check out our brand-new Pundays Archive located just below the Royal Half banner at the top of the page.