The Penner is Mightier than the Sturm
Well, Dean Lombardi made his move and he made it in a big way. Coming to the Los Angeles Kings is Dustin Penner, a 28 year old, 6’4″ left winger that scored 32 goals last year and is now currently the leading goal scorer on this Kings team. In return the Kings send defenseman prospect Colten Teubert, a #1 draft pick in 2011 and a conditional 3rd round pick in 2012.
“Hey, Tom… this is kinda awkward…”
“Yeah, Dustin. I get it. You’ve been traded to LA. I’m gonna miss you too.”
“No, actually. I’ve been wanting to tell you that you are horrible. And way overpaid.
Later, sucker. I’m off to play with Kopitar and bang chicks with Stoll.”
“Take me with you… please.”
Since Penner began with the Anaheim Ducks and has been playing in the West his whole career, he is no doubt familiar with a lot of the Kings young players.
“So Dean, before I agree to this trade… Gauthier is no longer on the team, right?”
“And you’ve improved the goaltending, right? RIGHT?!?”
The best part of this deal is that Penner is signed through next season. So you can bet that some of the current Kings who are signed to long term deals are going to be excited to pick Penner up at the airport.
“Sure, sure Dustin. Spend a couple nights with Stoll and
then you’ll be begging to come over and babysit.”
Of course, it remains to be seen if Penner can click with Anze Kopitar on the 1st line. But he does have the stats to make it seem like it would be a good fit.
And that’s been mainly with Sam Gagner or Shawn Horcoff as his center.
Oh, there is one more major stat upgrade that Dustin Penner brings to the Los Angeles Kings.
I got one of these, bitches! How many you got?
Screw any Visas. Get Penner over the border and into the Kings lineup tonight. We are playing the Detroit Red Wings for chrissakes!!!