Capital Punishment


Everyone has been talking about how this 10 Game Road Trip for the Los Angeles Kings could be a bad thing. But I disagree, I mean how bad could it be to have the young Canadian boys of the Kings get an opportunity to learn a little bit about the history of this great country of ours? On Saturday they got the chance to see the monuments of Washington, DC…

Shoes! The backbone of US History.

And on Sunday, the Kings got the chance to see the birthplace of Democracy, Philadelphia!

I think that may be the 1st Wells Fargo bank, not the Wells Fargo Center.

The Kings are in the middle of a 10 Game Road Trip that could determine their playoff fate and they have to play the mighty Washington Capitals and the 1st place Philadelphia Flyers on back to back nights. Why, that’s enough to make any mild-mannered person scream!

Don’t make Kopi angry.

Kings 2, Birthplaces of Democracy 0

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As a life-long Los Angeles Kings fan… how do you define optimism?

Thinking that putting Wayne Simmonds and Michal Handzus
with Anze Kopitar is what it takes get him over the scoring hump

And lo and behold… Coach Murray’s Line Combinations of Fun actually paid off in a game. No, I’m not talking about the 6 points Kopitar’s line had against the Capitals. I’m talking about the fact that Kopitar was obviously the one who was keeping 20 year-old Russian center Andrei Loktionov down. 

In Russia, when they say you play center… it means center, not left wing. 

The fellas over at Kingscast have been calling for Loktionov to be moved back to his natural position of center for the last few months. And if the games against Washington and Philly are any example, Loktionov looks much more comfortable as center than he ever did at left wing on the 1st line. So the Kings end the first part of their Democracy Tour in Washington, DC with a decisive victory and for once, it wasn’t our team that had all the fans screaming “Fire The Coach!” 

Whoops! Sorry, force of habit.

That’s more like it.

Next up, Philadelphia. Now because of the connection in management that the Kings have to the Philadelphia Flyers, a lot of people have called the Kings “The Philadelphia Flyers of the West.” Except without the whole “winning” thing. But I can see why people would easily make this connection. Of course Kings current head coach, Coach Murray, had most of his success in Philadelphia.

I guess you could say all of his success.
Jeez, at least Marc Crawford won a Stanley Cup.

And current Los Angeles Kings assistant coach, John Stevens, was once former Philadelphia Flyers head coach, John Stevens.


It was his Optometrist that missed Stevens the most.

And even the Kings current Assistant GM is a former Flyer. Although I’m not sure if he was popular or not.

Yup, this is the dude Dean Lombardi turns to and says:
“I don’t know, do you think we should trade Schenn?”

And speaking of relics from the Los Angeles Kings past…

At least Sean O’Donnell is doing his interviews in Philadelphia a little bit different than he did in LA.

Clothed.

For most of this season, Kings fans have been wondering where in the hell the Drew Doughty of last year has gone. But during this roadtrip and in the last two games especially, the Drew of old is back. And now I figured out what happened. His teammates are stepping up to protect him.

“Kyle… is it… is it safe?”

“Yeah, Drew. It’s safe.”

“Ok, then I’m going to go score now.”

“Good job Drew. I’m going to go pummel on this orange guys face.”

“Hey, Dustin… how’s it going with your new center?”

“Oh, pretty cool. Instead of speaking Slovenian, he now speaks Russian.”

“That sounds awesome. My center just brags about the chicks he’s banged.”


This is what happens when Chris Pronger finds out you’ve been mis-treating women.

I know, kid. A 1-0 game is pretty, pretty boring. Imagine if you had to watch the Kings in January.

A 4-1 win over the Capitals and a 1-0 win over the Flyers. How confident are the LA Kings right now? They took a timeout with a few minutes left in the game… and it wasn’t to discuss how to shut down Mike Richards.

“I mean, sure we could do Buddakan or Morimoto. If you want to be safe.”

“Le Bec Fin was always my favorite, but I’m just a fan of the French.”

“Kyle, I’ve told you 3 times now that the Rocky statue is at the art museum.
And we can see it in the morning.”

The Los Angeles Kings now have points in all 6 of the games so far on their 10 Game Road Trip. I wish there was some way to show graphically how tough this trip has been for the Kings.

Nope, I like my way better.

The Kings went 2-0-1 during the “Fuck” portion of this trip.

Sure, the Kings are in 9th place, still 1 point out of the playoffs. But they are only 3 points away from being 1st in the Pacific. How close the teams are in the Western Conference is enough to make you want to scream.

The Kings are off until Wednesday in Columbus. As always, check out the hot pieces of ass at Flyers Goal Scored By for all your Flyers wants and the brainiacs at Rock the Red for all your Capitals needs. 

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.