Fish Out of Water

Over the past 5 games the Los Angeles Kings were undefeated in regulation, going 4-0-1. You would think that facing a team that was missing 5 of its regular players, starting its backup goalie and had given up a hat trick to a 40 year old defensemen the night before on the road would be an easy win for a hot Kings team. But then this asshole showed up.


What the fuck are you two smiling at?

If you had “Marco Sturm” as the person who would jinx the Kings undefeated streak during the Marco Sturm era… then you, my friend, are exactly the kind of people The Royal Half can hang with. 

Kings 4, Blues 6

Jon Quick gave quite the show Monday night in Detroit. But Thursday night in St. Louis, the only show he was giving was for the ladies.


Don’t worry, there is plenty of Jon Quick to go around. 

On the plus side… the Kings scored 4 goals. That’s gotta count for something, right? Besides, it could be worse. You could be this guy.


Is the goatee dyed blue year-round or only on game nights? Or just on first dates?
And why did you paint the Whalers logo on your nose and eyebrows? 

I guess my only question after watching the Kings lose to the Blues is this:


Jason Lee, Ed Burns or DB Sweeney.
Which one looks most like Marco Sturm.


I swear to god I’m gonna knock that smile off your face.
Or maybe I should just aim for the knee.

Saturday in Nashville, Kings nation turns its lonely eyes to the return of Jon Bernier to NHL action. Let’s just hope Marco Sturm stays in the hotel. 

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.