Yo Sucka Sucka


Forget about the Los Angeles Kings dismal performance Saturday night against the Chicago Blackhawks, a game in which the Kings found themselves losers of 6 of the last 7 and slipping out of the top 8 in the Western Conference for the first time this season… forget it because Kings Captain, Dustin Brown, is on the internet!!!

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Courtesy of The Royal Half’s Head Joke Writer….
The Top 5 Jokes about Dustin Brown dancing on stage during “Yo Gabba Gabba Live!”

5. Brayden Schenn was also at show, but in the audience sitting next to his mom.
4. Too bad the internet wasn’t around when Ryan Smyth appeared on the Howdy Doody Show.
3. Why was Brown in the center? I thought Coach Murray moved him to the left side?
2. Oscar Moller and a pick for Muno… Do it Deano!
1. Pride = Passion = Peanut Butter Stomp

And then just a few hours after performing with one of the biggest hits in children’s television, Dustin Brown did this. 

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Blackhawks 2, Kings 1

Click Here for the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

Thanksgiving is long behind us and America’s thoughts and prayers have turned to the holiday of Christmas. And I know that people across hockey give Los Angeles fans a lot of shit for not knowing that much about hockey… but I say “Fuck you, we have the best outdoor skating in the world.”

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The site of the holiday ice was enough to make Palffy consider a comeback.
The team could really use him on the left side.

And of course with the holiday season, comes the true meaning of this time of year… gifts! And specifically, brand new Los Angeles Kings merchandise for sale inside Staples Center. Perfect for the hockey-loving member in your family… that you really don’t care that much about. 

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Seriously, Los Angeles Kings Marketing Department… you paid a designer to create these? Were they recently laid off of work because of the shift in popular music? I haven’t seen Kings Merchandise this bad since… well, just around this time last year actually. At least the face of my favorite Kings defensemen is properly represented on these t-shirts.

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There is no fucking way in the world that is Drew Doughty. 
In fact, I’m positive that is Justin Williams.

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You decide.

And there was one more interesting new merchandise display at the Team LA store inside Staples Center.

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Boy, that marketing department moves fast!

Chicago is in town, and you know what that means… Blackhawks jerseys EVERYWHERE!

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This jersey looks like it was bought for 20 cents

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I had no idea Hossa to Hull was one of the greatest Chicago scoring combos in history.

Sure, Chicago may have one of the best jerseys in pro sports (except I’m pretty sure Bobby Hull never played in that awful black alternate) but Kings fans can hang too with their awesome jersey choices.

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I Love You, Brian Willsie.

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A Dwight Kings Ontario Reign and a Kevin Westgarth Manchester Monarchs.
If there ever was a couple more in love… it would have to be these two

As for the actual game play Saturday night? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time someone with the last name Crawford frustrated the Kings. 

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Ducks on Monday… ok, we can win that…. Panthers on Thursday… that should be an easy win… Red Wings on Saturday…. oh, shit. 

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.