Tim and Eric, Awesome Game, Great Job!

Edmonton Oilers Superfan (and slowly becoming Los Angeles Kings Semi-Fan) JeanShorts and Bagged Milk commented to me recently that it seems like the NHL is trying to keep Ryan Smyth from reviving his career as it seems that every single one of his goals this year has come under video review. Well, last nights game in Ottawa proved that this conspiracy may be deeper than just trying to keep Captain Canada down.


Hey Tim, I’m still fucking pissed about this whole Colin Campbell thing.

Yeah, but what are we gonna do about it, eh?

Hmm, did Campbell ever play for LA?


Yeah, but doesn’t he live in LA with all those homos and liberals?

No, he lives in New York.

Same thing. No Goal.

Um, Eric… I don’t think you can do that.

I said no goal.

Senators 3, Kings 2, Tim & Eric, Awesome Job!

Click Here to Read the Rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

At the end of the day, you shouldn’t be relying on decisions from off-ice officials to help you win a game that you should have won in the first place. To me, the bigger missed call last night was Matt Carkner raping the goalpost and pulling it off intentionally as Wayne Simmonds scored. I like to assume that the officials do have the best interest of the game first… and I generally trust their decisions. But Monday night in Ottawa, those fucking idiotic refs shit the bed big time. Twice. Luckily, the internet was invented so you can read all about it


Sir, it’s a goddman wood stick. I can’t even lift it up that high!


Worst episode of 24. Ever.

But Ryan Smyth’s blown goal wasn’t even the biggest story to come out of the Los Angeles Kings-Ottawa Senators game Monday night. No, it was the revelation that the home penalty box at Scotiabank Place… has a freakin’ beer fridge in it!!!


Goddamn I love Canada.
Beer me, I only have 2 minutes in here.

Of course, the other big story last night was the Civil War-esque, Brother Vs Brother battle between Kings Head Coach Terry Murray and Senators GM Bryan Murray.  And in true Hollywood fashion, film producers are looking to cash in on what could be the next Backdraft. And Indiana Matt has the teaser poster. 


Thank god they are Canadian, because those would be the most awkward Thanksgivings ever. 

And since it’s now been 3 games since Kings rookie Dwight King was promoted to the top line, it’s time to check in and see how he’s doing. 


So, Dwight, how is being the first line Left Wing for the Kings going for you?

Oh, it’s been great, Coach. I feel like I’m improving each game, getting the chances…

You realize if we’d signed Kovalchuk, you’d still be in the ECHL, right?

Yes. Sorry.


Don’t worry, kid. My rookie season Coach used to tell me I’d never
be able to carry Craig Conroy’s jockstrap.
 It’s just how he works.” 

Also, since it’s nearly the end of November, it’s time to check in on the Mustache Growing Abilities of the Los Angeles Kings.


Doughty has been upgraded from “Annoying Hipster” to “Italian Stereotype.”


I’m as straight as they come… but Brad Richardson could be a
sexy police officer every Halloween for the rest of his life.

The Kings also debuted a new feature in-between periods, where a Kings player teaches you something about his game. 


If Jarret Stoll was really teaching you about his game…
this video would be about banging supermodels and young actresses.


WHOAAAA! She did what to you?!?
(FYI, this photo will always be called Fox Stole

Everyone is trying to second guess Coach Murray’s decision to start Quebec native, Jon Bernier, in goal Wednesday against Montreal. And during last nights game in Ottawa, even the graphics team at Fox Sports West HD is trying to say that Jon Quick is a better choice.


2-0 vs Montreal, huh? Well that’s useful information for tonight’s game against the Ottawa Senators.

Raise your hand if you’ve noticed that Anze Kopitar is slowly developing his signature move after scoring a goal.


I’d prefer if he did this instead. 

As a Kings fan watching your team struggle on an East Coast road trip, what is the only fate worse than having two goals disallowed in a loss to a team you really should have beat?


Sticking around to watch Clippers basketball.

Kings in Montreal on Wednesday night as the Northeast Road Trip from Hell comes to an end. Be sure to check out the most awesome Montreal Canadiens blog ever for all news and notes Frenchie.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.