Pundays: Scattergories

I haven’t been able to keep up with NHL.com’s pun-filled headlines during the last two weeks… mainly because I’ve been busy watching my favorite long-suffering professional ice hockey team vault its way to the top of the NHL standings. And while it may have not been a clever pun… the Los Angeles Kings are making the front page of NHL.com… for all the right reasons… being a potential Stanley Cup team.


Also, one of Woody Allen’s worst films.

Click here to check out the best and worst NHL.com pun headlines from the past week!!!

You don’t come to Pundays to hear about the incredible early-November success of the Los Angeles Kings. No, you come for puns… and lots of ’em!!! But after collecting some of the best NHL.com pun headlines over the course of the past two weeks, it got me to thinking… just like the sport of hockey has several different categories of players… Elite Goalie, 4th Line Grinder, Stay at Home Defenseman, Horrible Franchise Crushing MistakeNHL.com headlines have several different categories of puns. Let’s break them down, shall we?




This is the most simple and most commonly used form of the NHL.com pun headline. You take the name of the team being featured in the recap article and you add a clever end to it… usually bridged with a hyphen.


I can’t wait for the day NHL.com uses “Ovechkin Busts a Cap in Rangers’ Ass.”


I was confused at first and thought that this headline implied Tim Thomas
spends all his time in the off season creating home-brewed beer.




This is my favorite type of NHL.com pun headline and I have to think it’s one of the most popular. You take the name of the player who had an incredible game that night… and you go to fucking town with making a pun out of it!


I think I have a pretty good idea of what was being passed around the NHL.com offices this night… Bud Ice!


This headline is the best thing to come out of the Kris Versteeg trade.


Also, an excellent summer time drink.


I can’t wait until Winnik scores with a minute left so the headline can be “Minute to Winnik.”


I personally don’t think there is enough blending of famous legal documents with ice hockey headlines.
If only NHL.com was around in the 1990’s, there could have been the “Craig Billington of Rights” headline.


I know there is enough hatred of Sidney Crosby out there for this
headline to go a completely different direction with one simple letter change.


Presenting the first ever NHL.com pun headline ever written expressly for The Royal Half.
Don’t believe me?






No, not that type of Pop Culture.

Pop Culture references are always… well, poppin up in NHL.com pun headlines. There are puns that reflect some of the headline writers’ favorite television shows…




The Closer?! Somehow I don’t think anyone working at NHL.com watches a Kyra Sedgwick procedural drama


…but they do happen to be huge Mark Harmon fans.

Sometimes, the headline writers will use their favorite songs…


I’ve written 3 Pundays this season and Guns N Roses’ November Rain has now been mentioned twice.

… or even their favorite jam rock band.


And even their favorite… um… fashion magazine can get a mention.





When Borje Salming became the first European player to make an impact in the NHL… with him came the long-standing tradition of incorporating which country a player is born into a clever pun headline.


Another in a long line of pun headlines that should hopefully soon be finished. See what I did there?

And without further ado… the winner of the Punday Headline of the Week, Foreign or Domestic:


Somewhere, Paul Newman is spinning in his grave.

As always, you can check out the entire Pundays archive here or just use the handy-dandy “Pundays” sidebar on the right.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.