A Hairy Loss

Well, even if last night’s broadcast of the Pacific Division battle between the Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks didn’t bring the confirmation that this team is ready to be an elite NHL team and actually show up for important games that could help define it as an elite NHL team… at least it brought us this…


My new fantasy team name is “Dean Lombardi’s Mullet”

… and this…


Hello, my name is Drew. The City of Los Angeles has required
me to tell you that I’ve recently moved into this neighborhood.” 

Sharks 6, Kings 3, Mullets and Mustaches 447,270,970,732

Click Here to read the rest of The Royal Half Recap!!!

The only thing I hate more than the recent hipster/ironic appreciation of the mustache and mullet is when the normally solid defense of my favorite hockey team completely forgets to show up for a game. Monday night against the Sharks… I got all 3!


Harrold and Drewiske are trying so hard to not make eye contact with Doughty and that stupid mustache.

Yes, I understand that NHL players are growing mustaches in the month of November for Prostate Cancer awareness… but you know what? Just donate the fucking money. Oh and last week, when all the Kings wore mullets during their pre-game skate… it wasn’t in support of Ryan Smyth but rather to celebrate the early season success of GM Dean Lombardi. I mean… I just need to look at that Dean Lombardi 1991 San Jose Sharks-era mullet again!!!


Have you ever seen anything like that in Kings history?!?


Oh, I guess you have. 

Last night’s performance comes down to this… when teams play with a backup goalie (no matter how many people think Bernier is the Franchise Saviour, he’s still the backup) the players tend to try a little bit harder in an effort to make up the difference. And it really showed last night.  


Hey, Bernier. I’ve got my eye on you.

Sorry. I promise that I’m really good.

One of my followers on Twitter may disagree with my proclamation that the fake Bernier billboards around town should be pulled down (cough, fake billboards)… but even though the Kings defense forgot that part of being an NHL defenseman means having to put a body on the opposing team in front of the net… I don’t blame Bernier at all for last nights loss. But I do love that Kings fans are so irate about a mid-November loss to a team that made it to last years Western Conference finals. 


So when did the Sharks start playing in a YMCA?
Either that or some arcitect in San Jose is a huge Gattaca fan

The Kings will be fine. It was the right choice to go with Bernier against the Sharks. The Kings are playing well enough that a mid-November game against the Sharks won’t make or break their playoff hopes. But tiring out Jon Quick early in a season again will. But I’m not so much worried about Jon Quick getting over-used as I am about Rich Hammond under-eating. That dude has always been skinny, but I’m starting to worry that being featured on tv during the road broadcasts is forcing him to go anorexic.


Since when did Skeletor learn how to use a computer?

No, really check out Rich Hammond circa this time last year before his Oprah-esque weight loss. 


At least one thing hasn’t changed with Rich Hammond over the past year… ill-fitting suits! (We really love you Rich… never change. And have a sandwich.)

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.