Pundays: You Be Illin’


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Top 4 Rejected Headlines in regards to Ilya Kovalchuk saying “no” to the Los Angeles Kings:

1) N’yet Gain
2) You Can’t Spell ILYA with LA
3) Chuk Wagon Hitched to the East
4) Russian Regicide

The thought of someone paying the 10 year, 100 million contract that Ilya Kovalchuk is seeking is enough to make you throw up in your mouth.

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Well played, Fox Sports.

Sure… on paper, the Los Angeles Kings look like the perfect destination for the #1 UFA. They have the cap space, the young, up-and-coming team, the lure of playing in the shadow of the Hollywood sign. But Dean Lombardi didn’t work this hard… to come this far… and then piss it all away by signing one player to a ridiculous contract. I’m not saying that Kovalchuk is just in it for the money but when one of the premiere UFA defenseman takes a discount to play for a potential winner… it’s obvious that Kovalchuk isn’t offering any sort of deal to a team that would like to pay for his services.

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Seriously, is this the guy you want on your team?
Ben Linus as a school teacher looks more threatening than this guy.

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And let’s remember… this is a negotiation… and Dean Lombardi LOVES to negotiate. So his public statement that the Kings are out… could just mean that the Kings are still in. But do the Kings really want Kovalchuk? Probably not. They won’t want him for a 10 year, 100 million dollar contract… and the Kings aren’t good enough to only want Kovalchuk for a 1 year contract. Kovalchuk is a once-in-a-lifetime type Free Agent… but is he worth the inability to re-sign Drew Doughty, Wayne Simmonds or Jon Bernier in a few years?

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1) Il-advised
2) Il At Ease
3) Il-conceived

The only thing worse than the Kings not being able to close a deal with an NHL Superstar? What this Kings team looks like without closing a deal with an NHL superstar. Quisp has all the details.

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Yikes. Just don’t make a panic trade, okay Dean?

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.