The Best Offense is the Defense

Oh, I see how it goes Fox Sports. The Los Angeles Kings don’t make the playoffs for 8 years and you could care less about Fox Sports West, the little regional sports network you own that broadcasts Kings hockey. But then… the Kings clinch a playoff spot… and you sprain your ankle jumping onto the bandwagon.


Tonight’s broadcast began with “This is a presentation of Fox Sports.”

And that’s not all. No, now the big time official Fox Sports logo was creeping into the upper right hand corner… and then would dissolve into the traditional Fox Sports West HD Kings logo!



And then… the biggest front-runner move of all. They changed the microphone flags!!!


A flag is the logo around it mic. It’s an industry term.


This is what Bob Miller usually has on his mic when he’s hosting disco dance parties.

So what does this all mean? Is Fox Sports trying to put its stamp back onto its dozens of regional networks? Is Fox Sports looking to suck in some extra revenue during the NHL playoffs for the first time in 8 years in Los Angeles? Or is The Royal Half a total broadcasting nerd and was just looking for something to distract him from writing about the Kings stupid loss to the Phoenix Coyotes last night at Staples Center? The answers to all these questions… plus it’s Wayne Simmonds Kings Spotlight Night… after the jump!!!



Before the NHL Lockout, there was an old saying that in hockey, a 2 goal lead is the hardest to keep. And the Kings proved this by playing some old-time hockey last night and giving up a 2 goal lead in 80 seconds, late in the 3rd period. Sure it would have been great to get 2 points last night instead of just the 1 bonus shootout point… but who really cares about this game when you have a 20 year-old defenseman that can do this:


But the real big news of the night was the premiere of Wayne Simmonds Kings Spotlight Night. For those not familiar with Kings Spotlight Nights, over the course of a telecast, Heidi Androl highlights one current Los Angeles King by giving cute little anecdotes, showing embarrassing photos of them growing up and then paying a visit to their home and smiling at them a lot. (You can read about past Kings Spotlight Nights here, here and here.)


Someday the skyline of Los Angeles will actually have Wayne Simmonds name on it.

Wayne Simmonds has fast become a fan favorite in Los Angeles, and has even earned one of the greatest nicknames of all time… “Meat Train”. So it seemed fitting that Heidi Androl met up with him to do a little BBQ grillin’. (And trust me, when Heidi said she was going to get BBQ with Wayne… I was worried it might go a whole other, more hilariously offensive direction.)


Worst. Episode of Top Chef. Ever.

Wayne and Heidi finished up their shopping and headed back to the completely unfurnished house that Wayne shares at the beach with Drew Doughty and Richard Clune.


Wayne shows Heidi his meat train.


Wayne. Just because you are a +23 and a huge fan favorite…
doesn’t give you the right to wear such douchey shirts.

And then Kings rookie Richard Clune showed up to do what he does best…


Cock Block!!!


Why do I get the feeling that after this meal was over
Heidi went to go wake Doughty up.


I had no idea Wayne Simmonds’ first professional team was the Colorado Rockies.


Wayne is also the only NHL’er who hasn’t gained any weight since his 7th birthday.


Sorry, only the 2nd NHL’er.


Some of the biggest jokers in show business are from Wayne’s hometown of Scarborough, Ontario.
Barenaked Ladies? Oh, I’m sorry that should read “biggest jokes.”

And finally, because the Kings are always looking to broaden their fanbase, they gave a little shout out to their huge stoner fans…


Green and Leafy? Sweeeet.

Jim Fox said last night that the Kings have to go 2-0-1 in their last 3 games in order to get the 5th seed. So there is the 0-0-1 that the Kings are allowed. Win the next two games and the Kings will play Phoenix in the 1st round of the playoffs. And even after their 3rd period collapse last night… I’m ok with that.


“Ok, Kopi… so I’m thinking I’ll head up the middle, split the D and pound on the glass in victory.”
“Cool. I’m just going to sit here and sniff this smelling salt.”

The Kings take on the Edmonton Oilers this Saturday afternoon for Fan Appreciation Day and The Royal Half will be there. It’s our first game in 7 years where the Kings will have a playoff spot locked up. If you aren’t reading the awesome Oilers blog Jean Shorts and Bagged Milk… then you are an ass. Check them out for all the pre #1 draft pick excitement and how the Oilers will roll over and let the Kings destroy them on Saturday.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier, Jonathan Quick, Ben Scrivens and Martin Jones.You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter @TheRoyalHalf.